I cannot tell a lie…
Well, at least a lot of folks can’t…
And this woman wants to know if she’s wrong for refusing to lie to her niece.
Did she act like an a**hole?
You be the judge!
AITA for refusing to lie to my niece about why she is not allowed to come skiing with me?
“I (F29) have a brother, Hugo (M31). When Hugo was 19 he got his then-girlfriend Amy pregnant. They had their daughter Ashley (now 11) and later got married and had a baby boy (4).
Over the years, I’ve become close to Ashley. When I’m home (I live abroad) I take her out to shows, shopping, horse riding etc. We also keep in contact via text. She’s bright and thoughtful, just a pleasure to have around. Amy has never liked me but has mostly put this aside for Ashley.
Me and my bf are visiting my family for Christmas and then leaving to go skiing. We arranged for Ashley to come skiing and stay with us for New Years. Amy wasn’t keen on this idea but relented because Ashley was excited to learn how to ski, as all her school friends do.
I took my bf’s hire car to pick Ashley up from school on Friday, and she was excited because it’s a sports car and I let her friends sit in it and take pictures. At dinner, she asked if I would drive her to and chaperone her and her friends going ice skating on Tuesday in town.
Hugo said I probably didn’t want to look after a bunch of kids, and Amy had already planned to chaperone. Ashley ignored him and begged me to chaperone. I didn’t really mind but Amy looked annoyed so I said I wouldn’t want to mess with the established plan. Ashley kept pushing, and said she didn’t want Amy to come because Amy dressed badly and was never fun and embarrassed her.
Hugo told her to apologise, which she did, but she also kept insisting it was true. Amy got teary and Hugo kept telling Ashley she’d upset her mother but this just made Ashley angrier and she dug her heels in. Because of this, she was told she was not allowed to go ice skating and is now not speaking to Amy.
Yesterday, Amy and Hugo came to me and said they didn’t want Ashley to come skiing anymore. Amy feels like Ashley needs to spend more time with her family and Hugo is supporting her. They asked if I would tell Ashley that me and bf had changed our plans and wouldn’t be going on the trip anymore.
I asked why and they said if they told Ashley the truth that she would blame Amy and that would defeat the point of her trying to build a bridge with Ashley. I said I understand that but I didn’t feel right lying to Ashley and if her parents had made the decision they need to deal with the consequences not push it onto me.
Amy said if I cared about Ashley I would realise it’s best for me to fall on my sword rather than alienate her further from her mother. I said no again but Hugo said we should all take until Wednesday to think about it. Ashley is still being very standoffish to her mother, and I know if she finds out her mother cancelled the ski trip it will get worse, so now I’m wondering if I should go along with Amy’s plan.
I just want what’s best for Ashley. AITA?”
Now check out what Reddit users had to say.
This reader said she’s NTA at all.
And this Reddit user agreed and made a good point about kids and parents.
And this reader said she’s NTA and that she did the right thing by not lying to her.
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