Is Telling Guys to “Man Up” Is the Same as Telling Women to “Get Back in the Kitchen”? Here’s What People Said.
The general stereotype about men is that they’re supposed to be tough, sturdy, and not overly emotional. You know, they’re supposed to be “manly”.
And if you are a male, I’m sure you’ve had someone in your life tell you to “man up” at least once before.
Someone on Reddit said that telling a guy to “man up” is exactly the same thing as telling a woman to “get back in the kitchen”. Take a look.
Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.
1. Doing damage.
“I went to a feminist discussion group that was geared towards talking about men’s issues. As a woman I felt it was important to listen to men about the issues they face, because our society’s gender roles harm men as well.
This was one of the top issues everyone talked about. “Man up” needs to become an archaic term. It hurts men by pressuring them to bottle up their emotions and is damaging to their mental health. I personally believe that it’s a contributing reason to the high male suicide rate.”
2. Good point.
“I hate to be this guy, but you do realize that this comment is the men’s issues version of all lives matter?
I’d like to be able to talk about mens issues without someone qualifying it with something like this. This type of thing completely undermines men’s confidence to speak openly about issues that affect us.
We know everyone faces struggles. We’re talking about men here right now though, so let’s just do that.”
3. Get it together.
“If a young man wants to be satisfied in this sh*tty world he needs to toughen up.
You can acknowledge your feelings while keeping your sh*t together.”
4. Struggling with emotions.
“When parents/previous generation instilled it onto us. Babies or toddlers doesn’t care about emotions.
Angry? angry kids noises
THEN we were taught “boys don’t cry!” “Girls plays with mini kitchens!” Etc etc
As we grew up, we forgot how to express emotions. We knew how to do it, but struggle to do so.”
5. A cultural thing.
“This is very much a cultural thing..
In some Mediterranean cultures, you often see weeping men, and they are not considered humanly in some other cultures too.
This bias is very Anglo Saxon.”
6. Men can be victims, too.
“Before my mom quit drinking, both me and my dad dealt with an abusive toxic environment (mostly verbal and emotional abuse, although I’m pretty sure she broke my nose at one point).
It’s hard for me to even think about that point in time without getting anxiety.
So it really bothers me that people assume men can’t be victims, especially when it’s a female perpetrator.”
“Men are still expected to ‘man up’ and put themselves as shields for their women when they are in danger.
If a man runs away during a mugging between him and his gf, he’ll get sh*t for it but not when it’s the other way around.
But saying that, I accept my role to ‘man up’ in certain situations or I’ll be disgusted at myself.
Is that innate or culturally ingrained? I don’t know.”
8. When it hits the fan.
“Once the sh*t hits the fan IRL and something uncomfortable has to be done, the man in the room is the one who has to do it.
It’s just like when a woman does something to a man that would cause immediate reaction if the genders were reversed. Everyone online agrees that shouldn’t be okay, but reach into the real world, and everyone continues to shrug it off.
People just don’t care enough yet about things that happen to men.”
9. We can do both.
“It’s important to lift men up without putting women down. People try to use differences to provide context: “get back in the kitchen” has been a s*xist trope for a while, but people may not give “man up!” a second thought.
But, that ends up hurting the cause because it seems unnecessarily combative. We should support and uplift men because they are half the population and deserve their best lives, and not simply in reaction to something we do for women.”
10. Let it all out.
“Dude I cried in front of my girl last night and felt soo embarrassed.
She looked at me like I was crazy and said “you’re human, it’s okay to have feelings” and I was kinda blown away because us men usually get the “man up, rub some dirt in it” response back.”
11. Bury your pain.
“I don’t see it that way at all. Telling a woman to get back into the kitchen is telling them that they have one purpose, work, and to stay in their lane.
Telling a guy to “man up” is to tell him to bury his pain.
The former is a degrading insult, the latter is the type of advice that causes long term physical and/or emotional stress and problems.
Both wrong but not the same.”
“It really isn’t.
“Man up” mostly means to get the confidence needed to do a required task. I hear females tell each other to “man up”
“Get back to the kitchen” is saying that the person doesn’t understand or would not be capable in a given situation and to get back to what they know.
Neither is a compliment, and both are s*xist, but they dont mean the same thing.
I know, I am focusing on semantics.”
13. Express yourself.
“People of any gender need to feel free and safe to express their intense emotions, positive or negative, without judgment.
If a woman feels too strongly she’s overreacting or crazy. If a man feels too strongly he’s weak or ‘gay’.
When did people become so afraid of our own feelings?
I’m not saying folks should weep and wail and throw tantrums at the slightest thing and expect it to be validated. You’re a grown up, take a breath and act like it. Self control is key. But at the same time there needs to be balance and respect.
It shouldn’t be a crime to get emotional or feel overwhelmed sometimes. There should be trusted people in your life you can share with and there should be no shame in admitting you’re struggling.”
What do you think about this?
Have you ever been told to “man up” before?
Tell us about your experiences in the comments. Thanks!