Person Asks If Doing The Same Thing To Her Husband That He Did To Hear Is Fair

We can all agree that when it comes to relationships of any kind, communication is key. That said, what is the right response when open and direct communication fails to yield results time and time again?

For this OP, the issue was one of those little annoying things that happens during marriage – her husband set the laundry basket (which she thought was unclean) on her side of the bed or even on her pillow while he sorted it.

Yesterday was laundry day. My husband has a mindless habit of taking the laundry basket and putting it on our bed while he’s using it – I think it’s gross but I normally don’t say anything as he’s a good partner and I pick my battles.

I do say something when he puts the basket directly on my pillows, though. The basket normally lives in our laundry room which is by an outside door and a litter box.

I’ve asked him, more than once, to please be mindful of where he’s putting the laundry basket because I’d really rather not have dirt, litter, cat fecal matter, and who knows what ON MY PILLOW.

She tried talking to him about it several times to no avail, so eventually she got fed up and took other action – she put the basket on his pillow.

Yesterday, there it was on my pillow, again. Instead of reminding him for the umpteenth time, I took the basket and put it on his pillow and left the room.

He did not appreciate this and she said well, neither did she. They got into a slight tiff about whether or not his actions were malicious after the first ignored request.

A little while later, he found me and asked why I put the basket on his pillow and told me how gross that was. I asked him why he always put it on my pillow then? He said it was different, those were accidents and not malicious.

I reminded him that after the first time it happened, it’s no longer an accident, it’s disrespectful. He told me I was being spiteful and passive aggressive and I should have come to him…again.

OP wants to know whether or not she was wrong to try this new tact after failed conversations, and y’all.