Ideally, parents are able to care and provide for their children as long as they need a hand – so, for most of us, until we graduate from college and find a job of our own. Honestly, with the economy the way it’s been for the past couple of decades, most kiddos need a bit of a hand even longer than that.
Life isn’t always ideal, though, and some parents are forced to depend on their kid’s full- or part-time jobs to help make up the difference when it comes to household bills.
This 18yo kid has graduated high school and is planning to attend community college. He has a full-time job that will become a part-time job when he starts classes.
I (18M) just graduated and gonna be starting community college in August.
Barely started doing full-time hours but that’ll change to part time again once I start my classes.
His parents have informed him that if he expects to continue living with them past his 18th birthday he’ll need to pay rent for his room, plus half of the utilities.
He thinks it’s a lot, since he shares a room with his brother and obviously doesn’t use half of the utilities in the house.
Before my 18th b-day over a month ago, my parents started talking about how they expect me to pay for rent then half the bills if I expect to stay there. That wasn’t the problem.
The issue was they were expecting me to pay $1,300 a month for my tiny ass room that I share with my little brother. Not including the half of the bills they expected me to pay .
In fact, apartments in his area go for far less, but when he tried explaining this to his parents, they didn’t want to hear it.
Most apartments in our city are around that range but that’s for a whole ass apartment, not a single bedroom plus sharing space with everyone else. Most of my paycheck would just be going to that then.
Like I asked my parents I don’t got a problem with helping with the bills and paying for my room if they made the rent to be lower.
They said that’s how much they agreed on so that’s what I’d have to pay if I wanna keep staying there.
So he went looking for a solution, and found a much cheaper one that also afforded him his own room and bathroom.
So I said fine and talked to one of my friend’s I already knew had his own place but was looking for a new roommate for the past 3 months.
Ended up going with him and he added me to the lease.
My own room and bathroom, plus the total for rent and my half of the bills it’s like wayyyy less than the rent by itself that my parents expected me to pay.
His parents are mad at him for moving out, saying that he abandoned their family and put them in financial hardship, and that he should have just helped them pay since they’re struggling.
Now he’s wondering whether it makes him a jerk that he left his parents high and dry, even though the situation is much better for him.
But the thing is they’re super mad at me for leaving. My mom ignored me when I moved out, my dad kept saying how he’s so disappointed in me.
For a while they were hoping to rely on me with helping out with their mortgage payments on the house also with the bills so now that I’ve chosen to leave instead my dad says I’m going to leave them really struggling and he can’t believe I decided to be selfish instead of helping my family out.
So that’s sort of why I’m asking if I’m TA. It was super high what they were expecting me to pay (literally whole paycheck would go to just that) but also I left them to struggle when they were hoping for me to help out so idk.
Reddit is weighing in below!
The top comment pointed out that OP is under no obligation to help his parents out, and it’s pretty crappy that they presented everything to him this way and are now angry with him for taking care of himself. (2)
Financial abuse is a thing, and everyone is proud of OP for not standing for it.
It’s actually awesome that he was able to draw this very healthy boundary now.
Parents are not supposed to take advantage of their own kids.
It’s not the paying rent that’s the problem, per se.
I totally agree that it’s fine to teach a kid about living expenses and the real world, etc, and to ask them to pitch in financially once they’re adults living at home, but that’s different than taking advantage of your kid and asking them to support you as soon as they’re able.
What are your thoughts? Drop them in the comments!