Man Asks if He’s Wrong for Asking Someone With an Invisible Disability to Move Seats on Public Transit

I’m not trying to sound inconsiderate, but if someone has an invisible disability, how are you always supposed to know what’s going on with them?

It can be confusing, right?

You bet it can!

And that brings us to today’s story: read on to see what went down.

AITA for asking someone with an invisible disability to move seats?

“Myself (28M) and my partner (31F) were recently riding the underground.

My partner is 8 months pregnant and looks heavily pregnant too, no one could mistake her for being any different. She’s not particularly mobile either now and we’ve taken to riding the underground more, even for shorter journeys just to allow her to rest more frequently when we are out and about.

We jumped on the Circle Line today and it was a particularly busy service during the rush hour with people packed in tightly and standing throughout the aisle. On trips like this I would look for one of the nearby priority seats reserved near the doors and would ask someone to vacate it to allow my partner to sit down. On all occasions up until now we have never had a problem, those who were sat in the seats could see my partner would struggle to stand on a busy train and will give up the seat without hesitation.

On this particular day, one of the seats is occupied by an elderly gentleman with a walking stick (probably mid-80s) and one by a younger man (probably mid-20s). I make what I think is my best judgement call and ask the younger man if he would give up the seat for my partner. He replies that he has autism and that his disability allows him to use a priority seat too.

I do understand that people have less visible disabilities and that under normal circumstances, he should be allowed to use the priority seat. However, I also felt that despite this, it wasn’t a physical impairment and he was more capable of standing than my partner who had been stood up for a long time and really needed to rest at this point. When I tried to explain this to him, he became very defensive and called me an a**hole for not appreciating his needs too.

Eventually, others began to overhear what was being said and someone else voluntarily offered up a ‘normal’ seat. But the experience left me wondering if I was an a**hole for insisting this person needed a priority seat less than my girlfriend. So, am I an a**hole for asking someone with an invisible/non-physical disability to vacate a priority seat for my heavily pregnant partner?”