Do a lot of married people sleep in separate rooms? By the sounds of this article, it sure seems like it. But what are their reasons?
In case you’ve been wondering why folks out there do this, people on AskReddit shared their personal stories.
Do you do this? If so, let us know why in the comments.
1. The woman next door.
“My grandparents do this. My grandfather built a small apartment on the second floor of their house. They do it because they have different sleep schedules and in general they spend much of the day apart because they like it that way. But they always eat lunch and dinner together, and my grandfather loves to listen to her soft footsteps throughout the day. He calls her “the woman next door.” It’s really cute.”
2. Saved their marriage.
“My parents do this.
My Mom likes to sleep with the TV on, my Dad snores and steals sheets.
My mother claims sleeping separately saved their marriage.”
3. Movin’ out.
“My husband snores so badly. He’s done two sleep studies and used every nasal strip and spray on the market. Nothing helped. We were honestly on the brink of divorce because of how little sleep we were getting. But then our kids wanted to get bunk beds and share a room. My husband moved into the spare room, making it his own, also getting his super firm mattress he prefers.
Honestly, it saved our marriage. Sleep is incredibly important. When you are well rested, little things don’t blow up into big things. It seems odd, even to us, but we try not worry too much about it. I’d argue we’re more connected now than we’ve ever been.”
4. Snoring drove them apart.
“Girlfriend’s parents do this. They both snore and do it to get away from each other’s snoring. I didn’t think it was that bad until they talked about having to sleep in the same bed during their trip in Europe. They were at each other’s throats because if one fell asleep, the other couldn’t.”
“During the Summer I move to another room we call “the wind tunnel”. Basically I have a ceiling fan going almost 24/7 and a window fan above the bed I run from 7pm-8am.
She has allergies and easily gets runny nose and sneezes from any moving air. My body temp will skyrocket and I’ll sweat like crazy in a room devoid of moving air. So she sleeps in a stuffy no air movement master bedroom and I sleep soundly in the Wind Tunnel.
During the winter I move back, cause then I become the ultimate body warmer for her.”
6. Runs in the family.
“My parents slept in separate beds as did my great grandparents. For my great grandparents it was a comfort thing. Grandma didn’t like not being able to move around the bed at will. She and grandpa loved each other dearly and she passed not long after he did because she missed him so much.
For my parents it was a couple things. As my dad aged his sleep cycle went weird. He would be able to sleep a couple hours and then be up half the night and fall asleep again about the time my mom was getting up for work. Also my mom has sleep apnea and uses a cpap. It made hella noise back then. Dad was half deaf and the sound still bothered him. Out of respect for each other they decided it was better to have separate bedrooms.”
7. Sleep noises
“Sometimes I have to sleep on the couch cuz I get hypersensitive to sound, especially human sound, and don’t like the noise his whole existence makes. He gets it luckily.”
8. You’re the culprit.
“Lol. I do this. I am an absolute terrible person to share a bed with. I snore like a passing semi truck and apparently (I’m told) flail wildly in my sleep. When we first got married I kept waking up to an empty bed. She would join me for an hour until I was asleep, then retreat to the couch. After a week or two I got fed up and just went to the couch first. Then started several months of us trading off for the couch. Eventually I just went and bought a twin mattress and tossed it in the office. That became my bed. And when we got a bigger house, I just setup in a separate room.”
9. Makes sense.
“Different sleep cycles and work schedules. He wakes up 3 hours before me.”
“We blended two households. His bedroom was fully furnished and the furniture and closet were full. It made sense for my stuff to go in a different bedroom. We started out sleeping in one room or the other but I realized pretty quickly that, if I ever wanted to get a full night’s sleep, it wasn’t going to be in the same bed with him. I’ve been known to call him a sweating, snoring, slant sleeping sonofabitch after a night of his sweating, snoring, and slant sleeping. We do a “your place or mine” thing for nonsleeping activities but GTFO when it’s sleepy time.”
“My wife has MS – one of the primary issues she has is vertigo. when i’m in the bed with her, the motion of my breathing/heartbeat/movement really fucks with her vertigo while she sleeps.
Also, i snore, so an isolated coil mattress wouldn’t quite do it(they aren’t total isolation, either, you feel movement) or two beds in one room.
Also, honestly, it spices up the sex life. Adds an element of pursuit and some illicit atmosphere to it, we’re sneaking around the house to each other’s beds to bang.”
12. Did you get into a fight?
“Sleep cycles and she violently tosses around. I’ve been asked by my commander if I got into a fight when I showed up to duty with a black eye.”
13. Not gonna happen.
“Spouse snores, two 60 pound dogs, and a queen size bed. No room for me and I need dead silence.”
14. Need different temps.
“My grandma and grandad do. She likes it freezing and he likes it boiling.”
15. Sounds like a plan to me.
“My step mother’s parents took this to a new level.
He built a second house next door. They lived next to each other for 20 years before they both passed in a short amount of time.
It seemed very odd to me, but it worked for them. At least from an outside perspective. I know images never reflect reality.”