Not the most uplifting AskReddit thread, but one we can all still learn from. And who knows, some of these experiences might help you spot red flags in your relationships before they get out of hand.
#1. No possible way it was my child
She let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all her girlfriends during a girls’ night out.
Since I knew there was no possible way it was my child, she was also unknowingly admitting to having an affair. (I can math, and she can’t). It was with her boss.
Lawyered up the next day, and he ate her alive in court. I got primary custody of our child we already had, and child support, and a sheriff’s notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days.
I never knew she could be that stupid.
#2. Wiggling
When my buddies approached me to complain that she kept sitting on their laps, wiggling, and hoping for an erection.
#3. Dick pics
The morning I saw a picture of some dudes d*ck on her phone. She was classy enough to bring him to the divorce proceedings…
#4. Told me it was just texting
15 years in, and I find texts on her phone. Completely blindsided… No clue she had it in her to cheat. Told me it was just texting. Begged for forgiveness. I caved.
A month later, checked the phone bill to find that it never stopped. Confronted her again… Cue more begging and more denial on my part that she would let the life we had built go down in flames.
This went on for a few months. So many promises.
One night, I caught her on the phone when she thought I had left. Suddenly it’s not just texts. Sometimes it was phone calls too… Just a friend she could talk to that she let things go too far with. Promised to break all contact. Swore it was never physical.
Then I found emails. She detailed things that made me sick to read… But also included descriptions of his house. She broke finally, but swore it was all just in the line of duty. That’s how she met, you see? Visiting nurse service, and this guy was a client. Promised she was done. Loved me, you see? No chance she was going to let 15 years go like that.
I wasn’t buying it anymore though. She announced she was going out one night with a work friend. Promised they were only going to the bar, then she’d be home. Maybe late, but not too late. She had taken over her own phone account by then, but wasn’t bright enough to understand that Google Latitude was still showing me where she was, and I wasn’t about to show my hand.
She kissed me goodbye and bee-lined right for his house, and was there until the wee hours of the morning. Once I knew where she had headed, I called her dad and my best friend to keep me from doing anything dumb.
I will love them both forever for keeping me calm while my world went fucking insane all around me. My father in law offered to stay with the kids and wait for her to get home. Around 3am, while couch surfing my buddy’s place, she sent me a nasty text asking where tf I thought I was.
I texted her a screenshot of her little GPS dot at her boyfriend’s and let her know I’d be sending her some paperwork soon.
#5. Another bloke’s name
When my 2 year old was learning to talk he would consistently say another bloke’s name. Apparently he was there the moment i left for work till when i got home. Single Dad for 5 years with primary custody now.
#6. Sexting a co-worker
Finding her, on Christmas Eve Eve, still sexting a co-worker whom she claimed she was no longer in contact with (having been busted sexting him previously, also). I cleared out of there like a blackjack dealer.
#7. In front of the fireplace
My neighbor’s wife screaming “Putana!” downstairs after she caught my bride and her husband f*cking in front of the fireplace.
#8. Random guy she met on Tinder
Preface: we were doing a trial separation. She moved into the spare bedroom of our apartment. “Divorce” had been thrown around but we still spent time together and slept together. I wasn’t seriously considering divorce, but rather counseling, etc.
Up until the day I came home from work at the same time I came home every day and she was in her room being f*cked by some random guy she met on Tinder. She had not told him she was married. I kicked him out of the apartment and made it clear to her I would be moving out as soon as possible.
Edit: Must add that she expressed interest in counseling as well. And that we discussed ground rules for the separation, one of which was “do not f*ck other people.”
Edit 2: Thanks for all the love. For those asking, I moved out because I couldn’t afford the apartment on my own. I didn’t kick the guys ass but I did tell him while punching the door that he had 3 minutes to get out of my apartment. I said if he wasn’t out in 3 minutes I was going to break down the door, and it wouldn’t be to shake hands (proud of that line from enraged me, usually I’m not very articulate when angry). He was out in a little over 2 minutes.
#9. The letter
When i found the letter between her and my friend about their affair and how she couldn’t wait to be away from me so they could be together….. yup… i knew then, that it was time to get that divorce
#10. More varied selection
She required a much more varied selection of d*cks than I was able to provide, so she went out and acquired them herself while I was stationed overseas in the Air Force.
#11. Blunt honesty
When a friend’s wife said to me “You know your wife is sleeping with my husband.”
#12. Marriage counselor
When she falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her.
The next week, she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying. He gave me a “You should leave this relationship” look. I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn’t making the wrong decision. Got divorced and never looked back.
I legitimately feared for my safety towards the end — not that she would hurt me, but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend.
#13. Google photos
I was working on a mother daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her. Was going through her Google photos account looking for pics of them together. Came across a selfie she took with some dude laying on her. Confirmed her second affair. Knew it was over the moment I saw it. That has messed me up pretty good.
#14. Less than 90 days in
Months of no sex, secretly seeing someone “as a friend” at her night job, going to stay the night at his house over the weekend, and finally, finding her saying she loves him in an instant messenger text.
Also, forgetting my f’ing birthday.
This was less than 90 days in.
#15. The doctor told me
dunno, mighta been when the doctor told me i had a STI, and i hadn’t had sex with anyone apart from her for many years and was completely clean of disease beforehand. oh yeah, and a couple weeks later when that pregnancy test came back positive and we’d been using condoms since the baby was born. a bit of a clue, anyway.
#16. Her friend’s daughter
My son was watching Netflix on her phone with me and her boyfriend text her. It was 12 at night and he said he missed her and couldn’t wait to see her again ( typical, I know). I confronted her and she denied and said that her friends daughter was texting my son. My son is 3, the daughter in question was two and barely speaking. Yea. That was time to go
#17. Christmas gifts
Not me, but one of my best friends(got his permission to post). He got a pretty substantial year end bonus from work. He decided to use most of it for his wife’s Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans (~$14,700) and the remaining portion to buy a new computer chair for when he gamed (~$300).
Christmas morning (he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work as he lived 20 minutes from the airport) we all woke up, and had breakfast. His family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts.
Besides paying off her loans, he had gotten her a few items. She opened the card saying her loans were paid off she just sat there for a minute. After the silence, and assuming she was kinda in shock, she asked “did you seriously not get me anything else? I bought you that stupid keyboard (the wrong one btw) and you only got me a few things?”
At that point, his brother in law and myself decided to go hang out in another room for a while they ended up getting into a huge fight. A day later when he was dropping me off at the airport he told me that he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce.
I’m sorry, but if someone paid off my loans, that person would be at the top of my “gets the bestest present this year” Christmas list for LIFE. Wtf lady… good riddance.
