If there’s one stereotype in this world that is based on facts, it’s that men are not great at expressing their emotions
Heck, some of us don’t even open up at all. EVER.
But today, we’re gonna get real with some fellas who want to let the emotions flow. And that’s a good thing.
Guys on AskReddit opened up and spilled their guts.
1. We all need this.
“I really want a hug.
I haven’t been hugged in so long.
It would be nice, I think.”
2. It’s difficult.
“I don’t know how I feel half the time. I find other people’s emotions relatable and I feel like I can empathize with them, but when it comes to mine it seems difficult to define.
I hate that I lie about myself to make myself seem more interesting. It’s so hindering; I feel so f*cking stupid after it and just start cringing.
I don’t know if I’m stupid or intelligent – I’m definitely lazy, I know that much.
I don’t feel wanted or needed in my life but I know that logically it’s not true, I just associate being wanted or loved with physical affection (not s*x) and those interactions are few and far between.
I’m not scared of dying, but I’m scared of risking things. Sometimes I even think that death would be a good option, because I feel there is no pre designated point to living. We have to create a point, and I don’t know what I want my point to be.”
3. Emotional affair.
“My wife is currently having an emotional affair with a coworker, and shows no remorse. Her family and friends seem to support her.
I had some serious anxiety about a year ago for a handful of months, and my wife found someone else during that time.
My whole world is destroyed. I feel like a loser, I’m too embarrassed to admit it to my friends, and I don’t know how I can continue on.
She starts individual counseling tomorrow, and all I can hope is that she at least realizes how hurtful she has been.
I can’t imagine being with anyone else, but having your wife tell you that she thinks she may be happier with another man just sucks all of your self worth out of you.”
4. Keep your distance.
“I distance myself from everyone in my life emotionally because the feeling of being vulnerable and truly opening up to people scares the sh*t out of me.
It always seems to come back to bite me in the *ss when I leak a little bit too much information because I just want to be alone and forget about everything.
I wish I could live alone and have very little interactions with everyone, it’s always so draining to be around people day in day out with little alone time.”
“Only one of my friends ever contacts me unprompted, wether it is via text or a quick drop by.
I would never hear from the others again if I didn’t message or call them first.
This isn’t as bad as some of the others here but it has been bothering me for a long while.”
6. Don’t care.
“I honestly can’t. That’s basically the problem.
I just don’t care.
And it’s really hard to express that.”
7. In a tough spot.
“I’m tired of pretending everything is going well.
I lost all motivation and drive to do well in life. I keep telling myself it will get better, but nothing is going right.
I just want a hug from someone who really cares about me and tell me everything will be okay.
I want to drop out of school so badly to recover but that’s not possible.”
8. Need some contact.
“I actually sat and thought about it yesterday and I haven’t had physical contact with another human (other than perhaps brushing a hand from someone handing me change or rubbing shoulders in the street) for around 3 years.”
9. Good luck to you.
“I’ll probably be moving across country, by myself, for a job with subpar pay, during a global pandemic.
Wish me luck!”
10. You have to face it.
“I don’t want to accept the fact that I’m depressed because if I do then it’ll be harder for me to overcome it.”
11. Shut down.
“Every time I trust someone with all my heart and soul, they break my trust.
So I’ve started to keep things to myself, I’m done with trusting and opening up to people.”
12. Family problems.
“I’m the oldest of 4 brothers. My younger brothers are far more successful than me.
When we were growing up, I always felt like my parents never gave a sh*t about me as soon as my brothers showed up. All through life, I had to listen to my parents comparing me, the oldest, to my younger brothers. It was always humiliating. I struggled with learning in school and my parents jus thought I was stupid or lazy.
They never really put in the time or effort to work with me or to understand my struggles, and I was just a kid so I didn’t know how to express myself. They didn’t understand that I was bullied throughout most of my academic life and that it caused me to suffer from social anxiety disorder.
As a kid, I always saw my parents providing opportunities for my brothers that they never did for me. Even things like taking my brothers to the dentist to get braces so their teeth are nice, or helping them get into good universities, or allowing them to gain some work experience in the family business. My one brother, the youngest, is now the owner of the successful family business, but I wasn’t even invited to work there to help out the family keep it running.
Instead, I aimlessly drifted from one crappy retail job to another for many years, never really earning anything, always living in debt, and barely making ends meet. I never could afford nice cars or clothes or vacations that may parents and my siblings could, because I had to work hard to survive, because no one gave me any kind of support. Now that I’m an adult, I’m married, and have kids of my own.
I live far away from my family, but I’m still jealous of people who have family members that they can get advice from, or who they can talk to about their problems. I don’t have anyone on my side of the family for any of that. My parents basically don’t give a crap about me. They send me some facebook messages from time to time or make a like or a comment on one of my posts, but it’s always surface level small talk.
This is something that my wife and I discuss quite often because she’s noticed too that my family are very distant from me. She doesn’t understand why I don’t have a family that supports me, and I’m not even talking about financially supporting me. I don’t want or need that, but it’d be nice to be able to talk to mom and just get advice about something, instead of feeling like I’m the only one in the world.
It’s pretty bad because where I live, I have ZERO family members around me. The only family I do have are my wife’s family who have been very supportive. Her brothers are like my best friends, and I see and talk to her parents all the time but sometimes I feel like they only keep me around because of her. At the end of the day, I’m not one of them, you know?
Anyway, I just kind of wish I had one of those tv-family relationships with my parents. Where dad will show up and be like, “Hey son, what say we go out back and play catch and have a talk?” but I’ve accepted that that’s not me and never will be. I’ve managed to keep myself in check by writing in a journal for many years.
All things considered, I’m doing OK but just know that alot of guys do have their problems even if they don’t talk about them. We bleed and show pain just like everyone else does.”
We want more of that!
In the comments, tell us what’s on your mind.
Please and thank you.