I’m pretty sure every parent has moments like these. Moments where they look in the mirror and say…”Is my child a total and complete moron?”
Parents of AskReddit share the moments they realized they raised an idiot. Hey, the truth hurts.
You have to laugh…or else you’ll get really depressed.
1. Out the window
“I used to tell my kids not to take off their shoes and socks in the car, especially on short trips. Just leave them on so that we don’t have to spend 5 minutes finding and putting them back on before we run into the store. Imagine a single dad with two young kids running around the car trying to re-shoe my children in the grocery store parking lot in the middle of an Arizona summer, yuck.
One day we went to the store and my daughter was missing her shoe. It was nowhere to be found. “Daddy, I didn’t want you to be mad that my shoe was off so I threw it out the window.” Made sense to a 5-year old I guess.”
2. Poor Dad
“My dad’s moment was when I made him drive around with me because my car had been making a “thunk” noise every time I made a turn. After 15 minutes he announced it was the baseball bat in my trunk rolling around.”
3. Know it all
“When my son was 11 years old, he confidently informed me he was pretty sure he knew everything there was to know, because he tried to think of something that he didn’t know, and couldn’t think of anything.”
“When one of my daughters tries to insult the other by telling her how ugly she is.
They’re identical twins.”
5. That was for me
“When I asked my 14yo if she could please bring me a piece of cake, she cut it, forgot why, then ate it.”
“When my youngest son, who was 10 at the time, was getting his ears checked at the pediatrician and they found a “foreign object” in his left ear.
Said object was a dead housefly. Because he thought sticking a fly in his ear would give him flying powers.
He had caught it and shoved it in there alive about a week prior.”
“Daughter calls me “there is a cop behind me with his lights on. What should I do?” “
8. C’mon kid!
“He knew there was a frozen pizza in the garage but couldn’t find it. Didn’t even think to check the freezer.”
9. Magic carrots
“Told my kid that carrots help you see in the dark, he then went into the basement with a carrot and started waving it around like a flashlight.”
“When we had to take down our shed and my son took a chainsaw to the support posts….from the inside. Fortunately, his brothers are not idiots and they stopped him.”
11. This is good
“When my son was disappointed by sex ed class. He thought they were going to learn some moves.”
12. Oh boy
“I was in the shower yesterday when my phone rang. I asked my 13yo to answer it. He says ” um…she’s in the shower”. Then silence. I asked him to take a message and he responds “how do i do that?” I had to explain how to write i note on a piece of paper…..”
“My 14 yr old soon went into a dressing room to try on 5 pairs of pants. After waiting 15 min and yelling twice into the men’s dressing room to see if was ok, he admitted he couldn’t find the shorts he had worn in. He gave me 3 pairs of the pants and still couldn’t find them.
I finally had to go into the stall to look. They were balled up in the leg of one of the pair of pants. It was extremely noticeable. He swore he took his shorts off before trying on any of the pants so he didn’t think to look in them. I was speechless. He’s in the gifted and talented program in our school district.”
14. Good job buddy
“My dad loves to tell the story of him teaching me to tell time. I had just learned money, so a quarter was 25 to my small brain. After about an hour of trying to convince me that it was only 15 minutes in time, my mom walked in the kitchen to both of us crying out of frustration.
Also my step son is almost two. He is tough as nails. Last night we were helping him do front flips. He would just put his head on the ground and we would flip his legs over his head. Apparently at some point, he thought he had it by himself and took off running just to jump and faceplant on the floor. He looked up at me so proud of himself. I just said “good job buddy” and tried to deflect my laughter.”
15. A thoughtful idiot
“My 13 year old son was sniffing really hard and moving his head all around the area he was standing in. Slightly concerned he had lost his mind, I asked him what he was doing. He told me, “I farted. I’m trying to smell it all up, so you dont have to smell it.” He’s a thoughtful idiot.”