I have to admit, I’m not very familiar with the concept of toxic femininity at all. But one article describes it like this: “feminine behaviors, used to manipulate other people and negatively impact the world around the toxic individuals.”
So, based on that, I guess I’d have to admit that’s it a pretty big deal and it happens all over the place.
AskReddit users shared their thoughts about what they think are examples of toxic femininity. Let’s take a look.
1. Here’s the deal.
“To me it would mean women who bag on other women for womaning differently than they do.
This becomes really toxic after child birth. Some women will feel nothing about letting you know how you are parenting wrong by using this product or letting you child do this particular thing.
Women who are able to stay at home will be made to feel guilty for not helping to provide; and women who work are made to feel guilty for abandoning their child.
I wish women were more understanding about dealing with differences and letting things slide a bit more. You should never feel higher after putting someone else down.
That being said, I don’t know how we did it, but I found the worlds greatest group of moms when my son was a year and a half old. We came from all walks of life and supported the ever loving hell out of each other.
This was in Phoenix late 90’s and we were completely tight until I moved away when my son was 5. I miss all of em.”
“A girl in the grade below me (I’m a senior in high school at this point) passed away unexpectedly due to sepsis. Our whole city was in shock as the girl was in the school just days before her passing.
I remember I met up with my gf at the time & she asked, “Why do so many people care about her dying? It’s not like she was pretty anyways.”
This was the type of girl that says, “What??!! I am SOOO nice.”
Safe to say, the lord blessed me with a brain and I GTFO’D that relationship.
To this day, she is still in contact with me & recently she complained that guys use her & she can’t figure out why nobody will be with her.
Well honey, I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out.”
3. Etc., etc.
“Breast is best” “Women who have C-sections aren’t real mothers” “Real women have curves” “I’m not like other girls” Etc.”
4. This is shocking.
“I will never understand the amount of hate I’ve gotten for having an emergency C-section.
Women often act like I scheduled it ahead of time out of vanity. Like I didn’t want to hurt myself birthing my baby so I deliberately chose the “easy” way. They act like I scheduled it with a tummy tuck and a round of Botox.
Then, the horror when they find out that, because she was born early, there were complications beast feeding. I did everything I could, I even took drugs that made me sh*t myself TWICE to nurse her for four debilitating months, but I’m a monster who didn’t want to mess up her breasts so I selfishly bottle fed after four months.
And I’m also quite thin and my best girlfriend just told me the other day I look “too skinny.”. No. I don’t. I look perfectly healthy, I’m just thin and you’re not and because you feel self conscious you want to project that on to me.
Didn’t say that, cause I love her and that’s mean, but are you f*cking serious?
I’ve experienced ALL of these.
“As someone who likes most stereotyped housewife activities, I really don’t like people who think humans are so this or that.
I like homemaking, I like taking care of people and sewing/baking. There are some women who just want to be housewives or homemakers.
They can still be empowered and non-submissive.”
6. At school.
“There are the stereotypes about women not being able to do STEM subjects. There is a big push to get girls into that at school.
My sister is TERRIBLE at math and science, it’s not because she was raised in a sexist manner or didn’t have any role models (my mother has a degree in computer science and my grandmother was an organic chemist), it’s just that my sister isn’t good at math.
Where as, I, a guy, am very good at math and science (I’ll soon be going to university of computer science). I have many friends of both genders that are good at STEM subjects and friends from both genders that are bad at them.
I do not think any less of any of my friends for their abilities, or lack there of, in STEM. Some people are just good at those subjects and some people are just bad at them.
What’s important is that they go on to have satisfying careers and lives.”
7. Doesn’t matter.
“The idea that a woman should be let off for hurting her spouse since ‘men are stronger’.
As if the definition of abuse changes depending on your gender.”
8. Your cheating heart.
“Women who get mad at other women for warning them that their man is cheating on them.
Also, Women who get mad at only the other woman instead of both the other woman and their man.”
“I recently learned about “Gold Star” lesbians, who’ve never had s*xual contact with men, and discriminate against other lesbians who have.
Ain’t that some sh*t?
Like, I’m sure many people who now identify as gay/lesbian went through a lot of experimentation before they figured out who they were.
That’s not something to berate people over.”
“Women judging other women for using different types of menstrual products.
Some women who use tampons often sh*t on women who prefer pads.”
11. Don’t share that.
“My ex would complain that I would never send her sweet or heartfelt messages.
I used to try but she constantly screenshots and shares everything with her friends.
It’s very hard to open up and be intimate and vulnerable with someone who shares everything with everyone.”
12. A bad situation.
“Getting pregnant in order to entrap a guy, then alienating the kids from him when the inevitable breakdown of the relationship occurs.
Happening to a friend of mine right now. He hasn’t been able to see his kid since March because he was at risk and my friend was still working.
Yet,the mum has had friends around for parties and today even took him on a local holiday in a town about six hours away. Meanwhile, my friend can’t even see his own son from a short distance.
Hes mentioned how He used to pay for the house and gifts etc and I just utterly broken right now. I know it takes two to tango but this woman seems to really hurt him on purpose.”
13. Not good.
“Women who defend their abusive exes.
‘What do you mean he needs a good women to fix him?! What I wasn’t a good woman so I deserved it?!'”
How about you?
Have you ever had to deal with toxic femininity?
If so, please tell us about it in the comments. Thanks!