People Share the Dumbest Ways They’ve Ever Been Injured

©Unsplash,Harlie Raethel

I have a confession to make… I broke my hand once…punching my brother in the head.


I know, I know…I was young and we were fighting and I shouldn’t have done it but, you live and you learn, right? And then I was in a cast for six weeks…


Let’s hear from folks on AskReddit who admitted the dumbest ways they’ve ever been injured.

1. Ouch!

“My brother had a turtle. He would take it out of its pen from time to time and let it roam the yard. I watched it chomp on some grass.

I picked it up and was feeding it grass, amazed at how clean it chopped the grass. So I stuck my finger in its mouth.

Turn out it hurts really bad. I didn’t want to hurt the guy so I had to suffer through it until he let go. He pulled his head into his shell so I couldn’t pull my finger out.

Finally he let go.

Long story short don’t stick your fingies where you wouldn’t stick your dingie.”

2. That sounds painful.

“I closed the trunk door of my car on my nose.

Still wondering how i managed to do that…”

3. A memorable first kiss.

“I once kissed a reflection of myself on the outside of a metal toaster while in use, and seriously burned my lips.

Technically my first kiss…”

4. Yowza!

“I put on a Tigger costume when I was little and thought I could bounce on his tail jumped off my dresser & broke my tailbone.”

5. Pyromania.

“Powdered Draino, shredded aluminum foil, rubbing alcohol, and a match.

Set my 12-year-old head on fire.”

6. That’s embarrassing.

“A few years ago I woke up, when to the bathroom, and was wiping my *ss when I pull my neck. Still not sure how but it happened I just felt the pull and had an enormous pain.

Went to the doctor who gave me anti-inflammatory injections and had to use a collar for a week and I used to tell people I fell.”

7. A bad idea.

“When I was like 10 years, I found a box cutter in a drawer and wanted to see how sharp it was. I decided the best way to do that was to cut across the palm of my hand.

It was sharp… I don’t remember how painful it was but I remember staring at my hand for a few seconds before the blood started to pour out.”

8. Don’t mess around with those.

“I had never seen a lacrosse ball. Didn’t realize It was so bouncy and heavy.

Threw it at the ground at my feet. It bounced up and hit me right in the nostrils.

Blood everywhere and a new found respect for the bouncy ball of death.”

9. Ugh. Brutal.

“Getting ran over by a thousand pounds of water jugs on a pallet while working a couple years ago.

It took my toe nail off but didn’t break the bone.”

10. Don’t get into bar fights.

“Got into a bar fight because a friend of a friend called someone else “gay” in an argument over the jukebox, then ended up getting hit with the pool cue they’d taken from the friend.

Had to be told later why I’d been suckered, and that one of the guys had flashed a pistol. Ended up getting a girlfriend out of it, but then we broke up and she had some other guy’s kid.

Ten years later we hooked up again, and I married her and now I’m divorced, so really the whole story is just bad from start to end.”

11. I am so sorry.

“Was sitting on the floor hammering a nail into something, lost grip then the hammer bounced out of my hand and landed on my d*ck.”

12. Sneezing can be dangerous.

“Sneezed so hard that something between my shoulder and neck popped.

Couldn’t turn my head properly for 2 weeks because of the sharp pain, as if someone stuck a giant needle in there and pushed really hard.”

13. The foam pit of death.

“I was at a trampoline park in Arkansas and was 3 months before my 14th birthday.

I tried to do a backflip into the foam pit and nearly killed myself.

My back still hurts now, 6 years later.”

14. Hahahaha. Wow.

“I threw my back out and had to use a cane for two weeks because I was clipping my toenails.”

15. You are NOT Bruce Lee.

“Swinging nunchucks too fast.

Busted my face wide open at 1 am.”

16. Life imitating art.

“When I was in high school I saw A Christmas story for the first time. In the scene the boy gets his tongue stuck to a metal pole out in the snow. I didn’t know that was a real thing so I wanted to test it out for myself.

I put a spoon in the freezer and then when it was frozen stuck my tongue on it. Hurt like a b*tch getting it off.”


Now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, tell us about the dumbest way you’ve ever injured yourself.

We can’t wait to hear your stories!