Getting cheated on by a partner is one of life’s ultimate betrayals.
If that sounds dramatic, it’s because that’s what goes down when this sort of thing happens: it’s full of drama, crying, fighting, etc. DRAMA.
And it’s also very hurtful to the person who is the one that gets left in the dark.
People were asked to open up about how they caught their partners cheating and how it made them feel…
Here are some tales of heartbreak from people on AskReddit.
1. The nanny…and some weed.
“My ex husband and his family smoked a lot of pot, still do.
His sister, kids, and nanny were visiting from out of state for a few weeks. When it was time to fly home they left their stash at my ex MILs house because they didn’t want to take it on the plane. My ex asked if I would pick it up because I was nearby. Stupidly I agree.
I don’t smoke and I was willing to carry it in my car for him. To my surprise I found a note from the nanny to my ex saying she was in love with him and she was so happy for the time they had together. Obviously she thought he would get the weed instead of me.
While it was incredibly painful at the time I am definitely living my best life 15 years later.”
2. She confessed.
“My best friend was friends with my gf and her roommates. Word got to my friend about her bringing some dude home after a party and my friend eventually spilled to me.
She said “I really don’t want to tell you this and I know this will crush you, but I can’t keep this from you.” After she dropped the bomb I was like “Hell no! That would never happen!” and then I confronted by gf about it that night who broke down and confessed everything.
I stayed with that girl for another 7 months and God bless my friend for sticking by my side and supporting the whole way. When I finally ended things, my best friend was still there to support me and care for me.
Also haven’t dated anyone for longer than 6 months since that happened 7 years ago…”
3. A broken heart.
“I walked in the door to her coworker on the couch, obviously uncomfortable and clothes messy and her locked in the bathroom.
I wanted to pummel him then and there, but he was a trained MMA fighter, and I would’ve left the house that night with more than a broken heart. I just left.
They started dating the next day.
Sucks. It took a while for me to get trust back in relationships.”
4. I’m not dumb.
“Wife was acting unusual for a few weeks.
She would want to spend time by herself on the weekends and when she came home at night from work she would often sit in the driveway for 20 minutes on the phone.
I’m not dumb.
I bought a voice activated digital recorder and stuck it in her car. I knew what I needed to know in less than 24 hours.”
5. Round and round it goes.
“She confessed to her mom… Then mother in law called her other daughter and told her…
Sister in law then called me and told me, she let me listen in on a three way call to her mom and tried to convince mom to tell me but she refused which basically confirmed it.”
6. The last to know.
“June 1, 2018. Normal day. A Friday.
My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work. I was cleaning the house for company who was coming to stay the weekend. The doorbell rang. There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with.
He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair. He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair. He thinks that she did end it…for about three months, but then they started up again.
When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband (because he knew if he confronted him in person, he’d be in a jail cell for what he’d have done).
On the phone, he told my husband to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening. Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing.
So I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got an air b’n’b and a lawyer. The divorce was December 21, 2018.
We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.”
7. Where could he be?
“I owned a house with my fiancé.
I woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn’t in bed. I went searching. His truck and another vehicle were in the driveway. Then, I went upstairs and found the guest bedroom was locked. After barging my way in… I found him with another woman in bed.
That bed happened to be my childhood bed. He forced me out of the room… literally grabbed me by the neck and pushed me out and closed the door back. I knew I couldn’t do anything at that point, so I called his parents who lived a few blocks away.
His dad showed up and another fight broke out. I ended up leaving and staying at his parents until dawn. I moved out that weekend and let the house foreclose. 9 years later.. it’s finally off my credit report.
I’m happily married to an amazing man and we own a beautiful home together.”
8. What a creep.
“The husband of one of the women he was cheating on me with called me at work.
At first I didn’t believe him and hung up. How could the man i spent the past 8 years with, had 2 beautiful babies with, suffered together the loss of one of those children do something so hurtful?? Still a part of me had doubt. He had affairs in other relationships and we had a rocky patch early in the beginning where I suspected an affair but didn’t have proof.
I told my boss I felt sick and had to leave early and I called this guy back and found out that my ex and his wife along with one of their friends were all sleeping together for about a year. He had confronted my ex and told him that he was going to tell me but my ex convinced him to wait a month since my mother had just died.
I took my time coming home and confronted him and told him to pack and leave. Since I’ve pieced together a lot of what happened and all the lies he told me where if I was in a different headspace I might have caught on to the affairs earlier.
I also found videos hidden on one of our computers and found out he was having booty calls in our apartment while I was at work and he was watching our daughter.
At that point it put the headstone on any possibility of reconciliation.”
“Very unhealthy relationship. He was emotionally very abusive and I was in a terrible place with my mental health.
I found out at the ultrasound to determine the gender of our child. He was late and I was noodling on Facebook waiting to be called.
He was tagged in some photos in my news feed from a gig he’d been at on the previous weekend. Random lass was in all the photos of him and they were all over each other. Also they were making out in the background of one photo.
He turned up after I was called in. While the technician was printing the images I told him I knew. He went off and on about how I was making it up, he’d never do that, obviously I was lying to compensate for cheating on him and so on. When I pointed out there were photos he stormed out and left me there.
My Dad had turned up during the appointment (anticipating that he’d react badly if we were having a girl, which he did, that was scattered through the cheating denials) and took me home.
I considered us broken up at that point and stopped all contact except texts related to the pregnancy.
Mostly I was relieved. I had concrete evidence that it wasn’t in my head and I finally managed to escape that relationship.”
10. Business trip.
“He went to Hawaii for a business trip without his wife and kids. Like a good wife, I packed his clothes before he left and unpacked his dirty laundry when he returned home.
I found a tiny pair of white cotton panties (no lace) in his suitcase. He had recently dropped a lot of weight (>100 lbs) and played it off that he had bought them for himself …. they had no label and were simple bikinis so theoretically could have been men’s as well.
It did sort of explain the pretty brunette that followed him off the plane at the airport and kept looking at my kids and I at the luggage carousel (what an *ss to make his side piece come face to face with his wife and kids).
I made sure he wore those panties at least once a week for the remaining few months we were together (I set out his clothes everyday and he couldn’t protest).”
11. A sad story.
“I was married.
Out of the blue while at work I get an email that says (husbands name) ‘s wife.
When I open the email it lists off a name and says (husbands name) married to her. Check on Facebook
(English was not the first language, this was overseas)
So I do and what do I see? Tons and tons and tons and tons of pictures of a woman with my husband. The woman and her kids with my husband. The woman and her family with my husband.
I was stunned to say the least. It was October 6th 2017, 7 months after I almost died from an ectopic pregnancy. Yep we were trying at that point to have kids.
After work I went home and started throwing all of his stuff in the dumpster. He was out of town at the time so I had plenty of time to do it. Spent all of Saturday and Sunday throwing EVERYTHING he owned in the dumpster.
A month later I moved to a new apartment and waited until then to tell him I was divorcing him.
He then killed himself a few months later.”
12. An eye-opening experience.
“I was 8 months pregnant with our second child at the time and he wanted to go visit his brother for the weekend. I asked my doctor if it was safe for me to travel and she said it would be fine.
I told my husband I could go but he said he was really hoping to just have some time with his brother, I understood because a new baby really makes it hard to spend quality time but I asked if he could take our older son (3yo at the time) so he could see his grandma and cousins.
He said they were planning on drinking and whatnot and wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. (They’re country boys so think shooting, drinking and whatnot) I agreed and he left for the weekend. After he left I get a call from his best friend telling me that he’ll be in town for the weekend and he wanted to meet up, not weird he called me because my husband was terrible at answering his phone.
I told him unfortunately my husband was visiting back home, bad timing. His best friend then said ok, I’m going to call you back. And hung up very abruptly. Turns out my husband and his wife had been caught by him a few months previously and he gave them a chance to make it right…I don’t know why.
He didn’t tell me but threatened to if they didn’t stop. Well, they didn’t stop and he told me. I think the worst part was that my husband’s family knew and never once thought to tell me. These people were my family for 5 years and nothing.
It’s been almost 10 years now and I’m so much happier but it was definitely an eye opening experience.”
13. A strange look on her face…
“My ex was a big drinker and I wasn’t.
She would frequent this bar close to our place pretty often with friends. I rarely went because I just wasn’t a fan of bars or her drinking friends. One night she went out with a couple that I didn’t mind that much. I was bored at home so I decided to head over for a little bit.
As I walk in I see my ex sitting at the bar with the couple. The bar was packed and as soon as I made eye contact my ex she had this strange look on her face. She turns to this guy sitting next to her, and he immediately gets up and leaves.
I felt something strange right away, but I brushed it off as me being irrational. I stayed for like an hour and headed home. I couldn’t shake the feeling I had though so I checked one of her friend’s Facebook page to see if there was any connection that existed between my ex and this random dude. Sure enough he was friends with one of my ex’s friends.
I knew his name now and that I wasn’t as crazy as I thought. I sat on the information though. The next weekend she goes out drinking again and still had not returned home at 4 am.
I tried contacting her multiple times and I got no response. I woke up to her coming home at 7 am and jumping in the shower immediately. I decided to check her phone while she was in the shower, and she kept all of the messages with this same guy. Some pretty telling information in the text thread.
While she was still showering I grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and headed to my best friends house. 20 minutes later I get a phone call with her going ape sh*t about me leaving and not saying anything. I laughed at the projection, told her that if she wasn’t moved out by Monday the police would be there to force her out.
She wasn’t on the lease and her parents lived 10 minutes away from me. That was that.”
Have you ever had a partner cheat on you before?
What happened? How did the whole thing go down?
Tell us all about it in the comments.
We look forward to hearing from you!