I’ll say right off the bat that I have no clue what a woman goes through on any level because I’m a man.
But I do know that there are a million thing that men do that scares women…and sometimes guys don’t even realize they’re doing it.
Women on AskReddit opened up about what men unknowingly do that scares them.
Let’s see what they had to say.
1. No means no.
“Thinking no isn’t the final answer. Believing that with a little more convincing and I’ll say yes.
It makes me believe you don’t respect me and worries me how far you will go after I say no.”
2. Creepers.
“Uber or Lyft drivers who ask me if they’re driving me home.
You don’t need to know that!”
3. Scared.
“Parking right next to my car in a dark and/or empty carpark.
I’ve had this conversation with several girlfriends, but when I’ve mentioned it to men they had had no idea about what goes through our mind when we see that.”
4. Keep it down.
“Raising the voice while having an argument with me. Even if the dialogue is constructive overall, raising the voice gives me immense fear.
Men are taller, heavier and stronger than I am, being confronted with a man who is feeling anger towards me is horrific.
To be fair I was a victim of v**lence before so that plays into it. Just don’t scream please.”
5. Don’t do that.
“Grab you from behind at night to SURPRISE you.
My ex boyfriend (6 ft, 185 lbs) did this: he was on a trip and came back 2 days earlier and decided to surprise me. I was coming back from university at 9 pm and I felt that someone grab me and cover my face with their hands when I was about to enter my building.
When I yelled, he let me go and he didn’t understand why I insulted him and got angry.
I don’t cry easily but it took me 3 hours for the tremors to go away.”
6. Inappropriate.
“Common female discussion: unsolicited nudie pics.
Equivalent to those creeps who hide behind the bushes trying to flash you. People need to realize 1 in 4 women have had some kind of s**ual a**ault.
Save it for your partner. Or risk getting blasted or viewed as a weirdo perv.”
7. Okay, I got it.
“Excessive and generalised compliments like “you’re so beautiful”, “you’re so awesome”, “you’re amazing” over and over again.
A few times it’s fine, but when it gets excessive you realise they’re putting you on a pedestal – and they’re not actually complimenting you, they’re complimenting this dream version of you they’ve made up, evidenced by the fact the compliments are never specific to who you actually are.
Also makes you wonder if they’re the type to think if you insert enough compliments then you’re obliged to give them something back.”
8. Do not disturb.
“Approaching me when I obviously don’t want to be approached.
Like if I have headphones on, I’m on my phone, I’m reading or pretty much any other universal signal of ‘I don’t want to be disturbed’
Some dude once pulled my headphones out of my ears to get my attention and scared me bad enough that I flung my coffee on him. He was not looking to talk to me after that. Not sure what he thought would happen.”
9. Gross.
“Calling me “sweet” pet-names like “honey” and “sweetheart” in a normal conversation (like at the shopping counter or anywhere else I ask a question or mention something).
Most of the time they don’t even realize that they start with that and I’m annoyed at it but for some reason it freaks me out when they call me that and I don’t know them. IDK why.”
10. Ridiculous.
“Getting pi**ed when I don’t respond immediately.
Back when I had Tinder, I can’t tell you how many great conversations and connections were ruined because I don’t live on my phone and had to put my phone down to talk to a friend or go to the bathroom, come back to a line of slurs from a guy because I “ditched” him.”
11. No way.
“Wanting to go to a secluded location if I don’t know you well. People on Tinder would suggest going on hikes or taking a walk after dinner on first dates.
Didn’t even cross their minds that I would not want to be alone with them on a date”
12. Pretty weird.
“Strangers complimenting me on my body really freaks me out. I also don’t like people commenting on my hair, but that’s because I’m ginger and I get a lot of s**ualized comments.
I once got fed up and asked someone to back off when they were doing this. Tried to be polite but firm. He responded by graphically threatening to r**e me and followed me for three blocks.
Not the only time I’ve gotten that kind of reaction. When you say “you have a beautiful figure”, it’s not a confidence boost. I’m not grateful. I’m thinking of the men who have this kind of reaction lurking just under the surface of that complement and I’m wondering if I’m in a dangerous situation.”
13. Nervous.
“When I was in the service industry, men flirting with me always made me really nervous.
At that point, I was in a position where my whole job is to “make the customer happy” and that would often be very at odds with my personal sense of “this guy is creepy and I want him to go away”.
When you’re on the clock, you have to be nice to people. You can’t just tell a guy who is making you uncomfortable to f**k off nor can you just up and leave (especially if you’re manning the register). You have to sit there and take it and play nice.
And hope to god that they don’t wait for you to get off shift so they can talk to or harass you outside of work.”
14. Uncomfortable.
“Messages you on a dating app commenting on having found your profile and that they are in the same location as you, they can see you but you can’t see them.
I had a guy do this on a fully packed train I was on to go to work. I’m not an anxious person but it felt really uncomfortable.”
15. Never.
“Following you to your car to get your number.
Don’t. Ever. Do. That.”
16. Deal breaker.
“While talking online and I say “I don’t know about meeting up” and their response is “You are more likely to be r**ed by someone you actually know in person”
Yup… Not meeting up now.”
17. Too intense.
“Getting really intense about our relationship or friendship really early on.
A lot of guys turn women into this kind of fantasy thing that’s supposed to make them whole/help them change or whatever.
Sir I am the main character in my own life, not just a supporting one in yours.
When you put that pressure on me right away without reciprocation, I know that I don’t actually matter, you’ve been taught that women serve you”
18. Creepy.
“I’ve been approached several times in public by random men who say they want to be friends with me. One leaned in really close to have a conversation and asked me where I was from and where I live.
Another grabbed my hands and remarked on how soft my skin is. Another one literally locked arms with me and dragged me to a coffee shop to “get to know me” and then later told me to come with him to a more private place for a view of the city.
I weakly joke about it sometimes but in the moment it really does make me nervous. I don’t know if I just look really unimposing (I’m an Asian woman but I’m taller than average?) but I’m not sure why it happens.
Regardless, please don’t just grab random women, even out of friendliness, and respect personal space.”
19. Uncalled for.
“Blocking my path or physically holding me in place if they are not done talking to me.
Basically, using more strength/size to restrict my motion in any way.”
20. You can stop now.
“Calling them beautiful as much as possible.
Once or twice is nice, if you know them, but if you don’t know the guy and he says it too much it freaks me out.”
21. Whoa.
“I had a guy come into the store I worked at and leave within ten minutes.
Not even 5 minutes after he left, he had searched me up on Instagram and messaged me, as well as all other social media. He didn’t have my last name and literally sat in the parking lot to search me up and message me.
And then he came into the store a lot more to learn what shifts I worked and was ALWAYS THERE. That’s not endearing or cool, it’s creepy and makes me not want to go to work anymore.”
22. Hey, I’m a nice guy.
“Any time someone tries really hard to convince me he’s a “nice guy”. Every guy I’ve met that desperately brings it up every chance he gets isn’t usually very nice.
It always makes me wonder what are they trying to hide? Like why do I have to think you’re nice? Prove it with your actions, don’t tell me repeatedly.”
23. Gross.
“Hit on you in locations where you cannot escape (enclosed places like elevators, or work places).
I had a taxi driver hit on me, question me about my love life and ask for my number. I was literally locked in a moving vehicle with the guy, how are you supposed to feel safe saying no?!
Luckily, I think he was just a nice clueless guy so I felt safe enough to negotiate and take his number instead of giving mine out.”
24. Ugh.
“Once I was staying in a hotel with my boyfriend and needed to go down to the lobby.
I got on the elevator and saw a guy holding flowers and wine, so I asked if he was meeting a girlfriend. I’m from the south, so it’s just friendly small talk. He replied, “Something like that. You can come if you want to.” It immediately made me nervous. Politely declined and said my boyfriend was waiting for me.
He said, “So to a guy like me, all I can hear you saying is that you’d come with me if he wasn’t here.” I was so upset. I didn’t take the elevator alone again.”
25. Not a good thing.
“Driving really aggressively and having road rage.
When I was younger and dating I had so many experiences as a passenger with young guys who were otherwise normal but really intense and scary when they got behind the wheel.
It always seemed like a red flag.”
Do any other women out there want to chime in on this subject?
If so, please talk to us in the comments.
We’d love to hear from you!
