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No matter what side of the political aisle you may be on, a joke is a joke. And these political jokes are some of the best we have ever heard.
Get ready to agree, disagree, and just plain laugh out loud st some of the inquisitive political commentaries.
1. Because they stink
Diapers and politicians should be changed often both for the same reason. – Mark Twain.
2. Ouch
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
3. Proud indeed
Monday was President’s Day. I asked my granddaughter if she knew what holiday it was. “President’s Day!” she said. She’s a bright kid. So I asked her what President’s Day meant, expecting to hear about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. “On President’s Day,” she replied, “the President steps out on the front porch of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we get four more years of bull!”
I’m so proud of her.
4. What’s the difference?
Here’s a classic:
What’s the difference between a politician and a catfish?
One’s a bottom-dwelling scum-sucker, and the other one is a fish.
5. That’s good
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil
Well, he says, I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me. The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me. The Chicago contractor doesnt measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, $2,700. The official, incredulous, says, You didnt even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure? The Chicago contractor whispers back, $1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence. Done! replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.
6. Huh?
“In capitalism, man exploits man. In communism, it’s the other way around.”
Jon Pennington
7. Political career
“He knows nothing and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.” – George Bernard Shaw
8. Seven years
In a prison, two inmates are comparing notes. “What did they arrest you for?” asks the first. “Was it a political or common crime?”
“Of course it was political. I’m a plumber. They summoned me to the district Party committee to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, ‘Hey, the entire system needs to be replaced.’ So they gave me seven years.”
Vivien Cai
9. Light ’em up!
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the road outside Parliament.
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks,”What’s going on?”
“Terrorists have kidnapped all the politicians, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom, otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, collecting donations”.
“How much is everyone giving, on an average?” the driver asks…
The man replies, “Roughly 2 litres.”
Abhijeet Gaikwad
10. Give it to him
A man turns the corner and suddenly finds himself being held at gunpoint.
Thief: Give me all your money!
Man: You can’t do this to me! I’m a powerful politician.
Thief: In that case, give me MY money!
Prashant Singh
11. OOOOOO
Q: Whats the difference between a magician and a politician?
A: The magician returns your watch at the end of the performance.
12. Change it up
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. Doug Larson
