She Chose Her Cat Over Her Boyfriend. Was She Wrong?

Is choosing a pet over a significant other REALLY the worst thing in the world?

I’ll let you be the judge of that…

In the meantime, read this story from Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” page and we hope to get your reaction in the comments.

AITA for standing firm on my “lack of hygiene” and choosing cat over bf?

“First things first, I (24F) have been dating “Kyle” (25M) for two months now. He has started to spend the night.

Kyle never grew up with pets, so my cat has been an “adjustment” to him (his words). My cat “Crumb” (4M) is the most important aspect in my life right now. Like most cat parents, he rules the household. We are very close, since I found him abandoned on the side of the road (as a 3mo old kitten) and nursed him back to health.

Crumb is very docile, but hasn’t shown any affection or really interest in Kyle. I don’t force it. Crumb does as he does.

Lately, Kyle has been complaining about Crumb. I guess he walked into my bathroom to see Crumb rubbing his face against my toothbrush (I have one of the electric ones that stands). He was shocked and told me how disgusting it was. I laughed and said “yeah that’s not great.” He demanded I get a new toothbrush (expensive) and I said no. I just put the toothbrush in a drawer.

Next, Kyle says he doesn’t like my nightly routine with Crumb. I give Crumb a kiss on the head, stomach and then face before he goes to sleep. He sleeps on my bedside table in a cat bed. If I don’t do this routine, he lays on me until I do. I know that’s annoying, but that’s how it has always been and I love doing it.

Well Kyle says I am unhygienic because of this. He says Crumb is dirty (he is inside only and I brush him every day) and even letting him sleep in the bedroom is gross and gets fur everywhere (it doesn’t, but Kyle isn’t even allergic so). I told him that I put the toothbrush away, but he told me that I took it as a joke and didn’t punish Crumb.

I tried to explain that you can’t punish cats (nor would I want to in this scenario), but he wouldn’t hear it. He then went on to say that me kissing Crumb is disgusting, especially his face, and he wouldn’t ever kiss me if I kissed Crumb again. He asked me to put Crumb outside the room when he is over, or lock him in a “crate.”

So I said, “okay bye.” Not only is Crumb 10000x more important to me, but I laughed in Kyle’s face about never kissing my cat again/keeping him locked.

This is where I may be the AH. Kyle told me that I was ruining our future and how mean I am for laughing at his concerns. I felt guilty so I asked a group of my friends and they were split.

The pet owners laughed, the non-pet owners said I am in the wrong for not making Kyle feel more comfortable. They said that Kyle wasn’t asking me to get rid of Crumb, just compromise with him. They said I was being kinda gross and understand his concerns.”