She’s Upset Because Her Husband Used Her Bonus on Himself. Is She Wrong?

Well, this fella sure sounds like a real gem, doesn’t he?

In case you didn’t pick up on it, I was trying to be sarcastic.

But enough about me…check out this story and see if you think this woman was out of line for being upset with her husband.

AITA for being upset with my husband for using my bonus on him?

“History: My husband 28m and I 27f have been married about 4 years now. We dated in college and got married after.

He finished college with a finance degree and thought he would go into accounting. Well he quickly found out that was not his passion. So he bounced around jobs and ideas (business, teacher, lawyer) but nothing really kept him saying this is what I want to do.

This was pre COVID. Since COVID he has not attempted anything he says after the pandemic there will be a boom in jobs and he can find something that he’s passionate about. I have been working full time and thankfully my job became remote and pays the bills while keeping food on the table.

Incident in Question: After the fiscal year closed my work had done really well. We selling medical testing equipment so it was a big product of 2020. I was given a promotion I got a little pay raise and a small bonus. I was really excited because I could finally repair my purse and replace my shoes. (My friends puppy destroyed but I acknowledge I should not have left my purse on a low stool in front of the puppies bed. So my fault) I was so excited to tel. my husband but he seemed more excited than me over this promotion.

He started going off how he could redo his game area and get the new systems since he was tired of his others and I was dumbfounded. I got really quiet because I almost could not believe what he was saying. He eventually goes out and gets himself a new system, chair, and mouse. He had basically spent my bonus. I was so upset and ultimately hurt and numb.

We ended up getting into an argument and he called me selfish for not being happy that he got to achieve his dream and i am spoiled for being upset I couldn’t spend this money on me first. I basically called him an ungrateful a**hole and asked why does he deserve new stuff when I have been providing.

He got really quiet on that one and stormed out saying he would be staying with his family (only about and hour away) I have been getting angry calls and texts due to the fact “he didn’t feel supported in his own home” and “if I am making the money I can get whatever I want when I want and I shouldn’t throw it in his face he doesn’t have an income” which is not true I’m trying to keep a roof over our head and food on the table.

All his friends and family think I way over reacted to something that makes my husband happy. And that the next time we get a large sum of money my husband said he would let me repair my purse. I haven’t responded and don’t think I will for a few days. But I have gotten so many you’re such a b**ch and the ah I starting to wonder if I really am.

Summary: Husband is bored with his game system stuff so he used my bonus and raise to buy him a new one without my permission and when I got upset I was labeled selfish and unsupportive. AITA?”