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S*x education in America is far different than it is in other parts of the world. In many ways, America’s Puritan roots remain strong, and how and when people speak to their kids about puberty and s*x varies immensely from family to family.
Some parents, though, refuse to give their kids the basic facts they need to be healthy and prevent issues, and that’s a problem for society as a whole – which is why this Redditor thinks no one should be able to opt their kids out of the official school curriculum.
I’ve heard many parents say that they should be able to choose if their child receives s*x education in school and in some areas they can opt out. I think it is irresponsible of parents to shelter their child because if they don’t receive proper information on contraception, consent, STDs, etc., their child is being put at risk.
These parents are likely uncomfortable with the topic and are in denial about their child growing up, but avoiding the topic does not prevent them from being s*xually active. Curriculum is developed by researchers, experts in the field, and teachers, and should be seen as more valuable than than a parent’s opinion.
The amount of misinformation that some adults have about s*x is astounding. Also it’s very sad when children hit puberty and feel scared or think that something is wrong with them because they didn’t expect it.
Is Reddit going to change his mind? Let’s find out!
15. What about homeschooling in general?
Why do you assume that parents who opt their children out of s*x education at school are sheltering their children? Why isn’t it possible to teach the exact same thing in the home (likely in more detail) that can be taught in the classroom? Are you opposed to homeschooling all together, or just for this one particular subject matter?
14. There’s no “official” official curriculum.
Curriculum is developed by researchers, experts in the field, and teachers, and should be seen as more valuable than than a parent’s opinion. Maybe where you live but where I grew up it was pretty obviously thrown together by people with a political agenda.
We even had students from the local religious college come by to teach us how a non-virgin woman was like a chewed piece of gum that nobody would want
Basically it’s easy to say that people shouldn’t be able to opt-out of it if it’s good where you are and not very bad and potentially damaging
13. Make it like any other subject.
Stupid parents are exactly the problem, though… As soon as you make it mandatory, you politicize it.
I would vastly prefer a testing requirement (based on a science-based national standard, not local) that children actually have learned the truth… that way the parents can’t get away with teaching their bullshit in addition to causing them try to warp the school curriculum to fit their nonsense.
That also would allow for correct education at home or by other resources that might do a better job than a school, where frankly… well… I hate to say this, but… a large fraction of high-school teachers in the US kind of suck at teaching science.
12. Can we even agree on scientific research these days?
This is definitely a case where the education needs to be standardized. If we can standardize s*x education to fit the best research currently available, then absolutely parents shouldn’t be able to opt their kids out.
Especially since part of it is about consent, and bodily functions everyone should understand about themselves and the other s*x/genders.
11. Will parents not teach anything at home, though? Like math?
My counter-argument is that this is entirely trusting the state to parent children correctly and taking even more responsibility away from parents.
10. Too many parents feel this way.
I’m not a parent but I’d be uncomfortable with the notion that I have no control over the subjects my child is taught in school.
Using the argument that a professional has deemed it good for them could mean a different school district will refuse to teach s*x ed or the theory of evolution.
9. An American problem.
The problem I have is that terms like “researchers” is somewhat nebulous. Being a “researcher” doesn’t preclude you from being politically biased one way or the other and can easily still mean that you are pushing some sort of political agenda.
8. Could be a slippery slope.
The crux of your argument is that government knows best. That’s a real slippery slope that flies in the face of the way this country was founded.
With enough money anyone can get a study proving anything. There were studies that cigarettes are safe. There were studies that oxycontin wasn’t addictive. Just because someone with a certain credential says it’s good doesn’t mean it automatically qualifies for legislation.
There’s a stark difference between what is right and what is legislated. Once something becomes legislated it’s quite difficult to change it. Just look at marijuana laws.
7. Parents are always the primary teacher.
I read pretty much all the comments, and there are a few thoughts.
You keep saying parents still have control over their kids education. That’s just not true. Especially in such a sensitive subject like s*x Ed. Conflicting teaching between the school and the parents on a subject like that is very difficult for kids. Saying parents still have control implies the school Ed has no impact.
As others have said political charged rhetoric enters in when gov run curriculums teach the kids.
Simply put, there are some subjects the state has no place teaching kids about. S*x Ed is one. it being a vital subject for the kids lives does not mean the state must do it. You don’t trust the parents, I don’t trust the school. Like many others I would much rather err on the side of freedom. There will be parents who do as you say, and abstinence only is proven not to work, or other parents who want to raise their child genderless and all the s*x implications that come with that.
Also mentioned was that this is a subject where personalized teaching is very beneficial. Kids are very different and vary in their preparedness for this topic. It is better taught when each kid is ready, in a loving environment.
There are a lot of poor parents. But the parents will always be the primary teacher, not public schools. We have the same problem with ethics. Schools require a certain moral standard and when parents don’t instill those in their kids it creates big problems. This does not mean that the schools should be the primary educator on for kids on ethics.
As a side note of the 80 odd % of people who are religious, very little encourage abstinence only education. There is a difference between not having s*x before marriage and refusing to let kids become aware of the existence of condoms. And shockingly it can be a rather strong topic for those billions of religious people.
6. An excellent question.
Would you be happy for children to be entirely withdrawn from all school subjects, with no need to any home schooling, perhaps sent out to work age 10?
If not, you’re clearly happy to not have absolute control over the subjects your children learn. Where do you draw the line?
5. Why is it different?
Can I ask why s*x ed is different to you than other topics? Children suffer from their parents’ lack of educating them on every topic under the sun, and this can continue even when they’re school aged.
I’m not seeing why s*x ed is so particularly important that children must be taught it by the state when compared against things like financial literacy that a lot of parents don’t know and the state doesn’t teach, which also directly negatively affects the children who don’t learn it.
4. It’s complicated.
I would opt my child out of some s*xual education. Some schools teach horrendous things that I wouldn’t be okay with my child listening to especially at an age where that can stick with you.
I’m not okay with my child being taught things like:
they’re like a piece of gum, its gross when it gets “passed” around
they are less good at romance and love the more s*x they have
God hates them if they do X Y Z
all gay people get aids eventually
only gay people get aids
utis are what sluts get
etc. Thats not okay to teach my child.
You can say “well only research based curriculums” but these curriculums are formed by academics. Academics aren’t gold star or infallible and are influenced by politics.
I also think its fair to pull your child out if you do have a honest belief you could deliver a lot better. I’m from the UK and our s*x ed isn’t exactly the best and some falsehoods are still spread or things are just shown for shock value.
3. There are always exceptions.
What if the child in question had some sort of s*x related trauma?
You have no idea what that family’s situation could be.
I feel like that could potentially reopen wounds that aren’t healed yet.
2. There are no guarantees.
As other users have said, this IS what they’re supposed to teach. In the U.S., large portions of our government do not want children to have access to evidence-based s*x ed.
Respectfully, it seems like you’re not willing to have your view changed. You’re writing off every argument as an exception that doesn’t apply to your hypothetical, but this is the reality of s*x ed in America. For those arguing from an American perspective, you cannot remove reality and focus entirely on a hypothetical ideal.
Sure — if s*x ed could be guaranteed as “good” then it would make sense to make it mandatory, but that scenario is so far from reality that it hardly feels worth debating.
1. And there are counterarguments to exceptions.
I work for a s*xual trauma center. I am a therapist for kids and adolescents who have gone through s*xual trauma. It’s not a valid point. It’s really not. Not only can abusive parents elect their kids out of s*xual education because their kids might disclose, but kids who are abused by others might not realize it’s abuse.
Parents always want to give the “stranger danger” talk, but 90% of the time, it’s a trusted adult. Good s*xual education covers consent and s*xual abuse. It gives them terms to talk about what actually has been happening. Thankfully in my state, at least Erin’s Law is mandatory (it covers personal safety, abuse education and prevention curriculum to students in pre-kindergarten through twelfth grades) but that is fairly recent.
S*xual education not only helps kids avoid or disclose (and get help for) s*xual abuse, but it also helps them understand that they’re not gross or weird, and that their bodies are normal.
Sorry, but working in this field makes me incredibly irate that anyone thinks it should be parents’ only who give this education, since half of parents are just as ignorant to bodily functions as their kids. I DO believe that it’s best if someone specialized in the field be the one to teach it though.
Very good points, all.
The bottom line? Please educate your kids with the facts – then, none of this will be an issue!
