Weddings are special days in our lives – days that most of us imagine spending with friends and family and other loved ones. When that doesn’t happen it can hurt, and I imagine that goes double (or more) for instances when your family refuses to attend because they disapprove of your choices.
This man comes from a conservative Christian background. Though his family really liked his wife for the two years they were dating, when they found out she was pregnant before the couple tied the knot, they were horrified.
I come from a conservative christian family. All my family members were/are involved in the church and have church based jobs. When they met my wife they loved her and embraced her as their own.
We dated for 2yrs and discovered she was pregnant after we got engaged. Invitations were already given at the time and we decided to still have the wedding on date when my wife was 5 months in.
My family were furious when they found out my wife was pregnant. They asked if we even still considered having a wedding.
They decided to have the wedding as planned but everyone in OP’s family made excuses not to be there or outright told them doing so would ruin their reputation.
I said why not but they were very upset especially mom and dad who said they’ve always been known for their decency and good christian values and weren’t willing to let this “stain” their reputation. as in my wife and I getting married while pregnant.
They officially dropped out and refused to negotiate saying it was done and I have only myself to blame for this outcome and should move the wedding out of town. I was hurt I tried to change their minds and checked with other members but;
My brother said he had no intentions to look like a joke in front of his fellow church members and dropped out, My aunt pretended to be sick and said she may not be able to make it, She’s 100% healthy, My cousin said he had business trip and stopped his wife and kids from attending and my uncle cussed me out, torn the invitation and kicked me out.
I felt terrible with no family members of my own to support me and share my joy at my wedding. I even broke down crying after the ceremony.
Now, they want to be a part of OP’s daughter’s life. OP says no way; they were so ashamed of her they refused to come to the wedding.
I haven’t spoken to them for months and then got busy with my 4 weeks old daughter. My cousin reached out to hand me gifts and well wishes for the birth of my daughter sent from my family. I returned everything. He sat with me on behalf of the family saying I shouldn’t have returned gifts that were from my family who want to see and hopefully be involved in my daughter’s life.
He said mom’,s longing to meet her grand baby and everyone else is wanting to visit soon to celebrate my daughter’s life. I asked him this question, I said wasn’t my daughter the reason why the entire lot of them abandoned my wedding?.
He just stared grudgingly as I went on about how they treated my daughter as something to be ashamed of and hide (my daughter at some point will ask about the wedding and I have no intentions on lying to her).
He replied saying he guaranteed I got it all wrong and nomatter what goes down between us I can never deny that my daughter is their granddaughter/niece/etc and they’re her family.
His wife thinks he should give in but he’s standing firm.
He asked that I arrange for them to visit but I refused. He kept pressing the idea but I shut him down.
My wife says I should let them come but I still refused.
What about Reddit? Here’s what they have to say about it!
Forgiving and forgetting are not the same thing, and apologies have not even been made!
Because yes, the church still supports your child.
And these are Christians in name only.
They might not be the sort of people he wants in his daughter’s life after all.
Are they even sorry, or do they just think they deserve access to family for some reason?
I hope OP stands firm in this one, at least until serious discussions, apologies, and agreements can be reached.
Would you give in or stand your ground? Tell us which and why in the comments!