Should This Mother Be Able To Control Her Grown Daughter Over A Tattoo?

When it comes to tattoos, everyone has an opinion. You love them, you hate them, you’re whatever but don’t care what other people do…it really runs the gamut.

I do think that, in 2021, we have bigger things to worry about and honestly, tattoos are anything but shocking anymore. Even a lot of them.

This mother absolutely hates them, and went so far as to tell her daughter she wouldn’t pay for college if she got one before graduation.

Her daughter complied, but when she began her master’s degree (which she was paying for herself), she got her tattoo – which mom predictably hates.

Background info: I (58F) have a daughter (22F). I am very anti-tattoo and my daughter is very aware of this. When she left to go to college, I told her that as long as I was paying for her school, she was not allowed to get a tattoo. Since I was paying for her undergrad, she followed my rules.

When she was getting ready to start grad school about 1.5 years ago, which she was paying for, she apparently went out and got a tattoo of a butterfly on her shoulder that’s about the size of my fist. I didn’t know about it until about 6 months ago when she finally mentioned it.

I absolutely hate it, I think it’s ugly and gross.

Now her daughter is moving in with OP and OP’s mother – the grandmother – and OP has said if the tattooed daughter wants to live there for free, she has to cover her tattoo in the house.

The daughter is pushing back, stating that it’s hot and tank tops are something of a uniform, but mom doesn’t want to budge.

The current situation: My daughter is moving back in with me and my mother to complete her internship that is required for her masters degree. I told her that when she is in the house she has to wear clothing that covers the tattoo because I don’t want to see it.

She says that’s not fair because it is very hot where we live and she likes to wear tank tops and stuff.

OP says her daughter can find other living arrangements…but then follows this statement up with the fact that she knows her daughter doesn’t actually have many other options.

I say it’s my house so it’s my rules and she is welcome to find other living arrangements if she doesn’t like it.

I know that she cannot find other arrangements because the internship is unpaid so she has no option exception living with me for free.

The grandmother doesn’t actually care one way or the other, so mom is wondering whether or not she’s a jerk to try to control her grown and responsible daughter.

My mother doesn’t really like tattoos either, but she hasn’t said anything about this situation except to say she is staying out of it.

I think I might be the a$$hole because she is an adult who can make her own choices, but I cannot stand the tattoo and I’m so disappointed that she made the choice to get one.


Try to keep from rolling your eyes long enough to read what Redditors had to say.

The top commenter minces no words, and wastes no time telling OP to grow up.

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And the second one calls out the controlling language this mother is using.

Image Credit: Reddit

More than one person popped up to say things like this are exactly why they no longer speak to their parents.

Image Credit: Reddit

There are so many things in life that are more important than a tattoo.

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Think about this one, mama.

Image Credit: Reddit

Y’all, this woman is hideous and will be going “I have no idea why my daughter doesn’t talk to me!” a year from now.

If OP was your friend, what would you tell her? Drop your imaginary advice in the comments!