Relationships are tricky, whether they’re within the family, new additions, people at work, or ones that involve romance. We can wonder after pretty much every choice whether or not we made the right ones, and luckily these days, we have the internet to turn to for judgment.
This girl lives near her brother, who recently started dating someone new. They’re very close siblings, and since OP knows how to make her brother’s favorite soup she does it often.
She’s also made it several times for the new girlfriend.
So I’ll keep this as brief as I can. My brother started dating this lady “Jessica” in January. The three of us live in the same city, about 3hrs from me & my bros parents/extended family so until recently, I was the only member of his family Jessica had met.
One of my brother’s favourite things to eat is this sweet potato and red pepper soup I make. The relevant info here is that this soup features onions as an ingredient – not enough that you’d eat it and go “oh wow this sure tastes like onions”, but enough that if you skipped them it wouldn’t taste right.
I make this soup for him approximately once a week, and Jessica has come to love it as much as he does, without ever mentioning any issues after eating it.
The trouble began when the three of them went to visit OP and the brother’s families for a birthday party and OP noticed her mother making alternatives to their traditional Indian dishes.
When she asked her mother about it, she said Jessica was allergic to a few ingredients, one of which is a staple in the soup she’d been eating with OP.
So, the issue. My brother, Jessica and I traveled to bro and I’s hometown for our grandmother’s 90th birthday celebration this week. Our mum was catering it – specifically with traditional Indian foods, since that’s where she and our grandmother are from.
However when we arrived and I offered to help mum with the prep work, I noticed she was making several additional dishes like chicken nuggets, chips and finger sandwiches, and was keeping them well separate from the resr of the food.
I asked what that was about and she casually said “I’m just making sure that Jessica can have something to eat with her allergies.” I said I didn’t know she had allergies and mum said “yes, she says she’s severely allergic to onion, garlic and corriander.”
If you’re familiar with Indian cuisine at all, you get why it would be an issue for someone with these allergies.
OP said, no she’s not because she eats my soup.
Mom confronted the girlfriend, who confessed to lying because she just doesn’t enjoy curry, and everything pretty much blew up.
Except…Jessica eats my soup. All the time. It has onions, and it’s never caused her a reaction. The part where I may have been an asshole is I said this to my mum – which, if you’re familiar with Indian mothers, you may understand how that could have been a bad move.
She didn’t kick off or act aggressive, but she did confront Jessica about lying and ask if there was something wrong with her cooking. Jessica just got kind of red and stammery and eventually admitted that she just “doesn’t like all that curry stuff” but thought saying she was allergic would be less awkward.
Not only is everyone mad at each other, they’re mad at OP for just not keeping her mouth shut, though it was sort of an accidental outing.
Mum got pissed off because she’d taken such efforts to keep everything separate and whatever to avoid cross-contamination, Jessica got pissed off because Mum was pissed off, my brother got pissed off at me fir saying anything in the first place.
Everything got rather awkward and Jessica ended up not even coming to rhe party. They now haven’t spoken to me all week, except for my brother telling me I’m a gossipy arsehole and I shouldn’t have said anything, which…yeah, I kind of get.
Was I an asshole? I didn’t intend to cause drama, it was kinda just a surprised “oh that’s weird my soup with onions in doesn’t make her ill”. I feel bad for ruining her first impression with our family and embarassing her.
She wants to know if she’s a jerk for just letting it go, and Reddit’s weighing in below!
The top comment says no, because OP wasn’t doing it to be mean and also the girlfriend is the one who created the whole issue for herself.
Image Credit: Reddit
Also people with food allergies don’t need any more stress in their lives, thank you very much.
Image Credit: Reddit
If you want to impress your boyfriend’s Indian family, maybe just eat the curry?
Image Credit: Reddit
This is her doing, so she’s probably just made her herself.
Image Credit: Reddit
No one is convinced the girlfriend is going to have a long and happy future with this family.
Image Credit: Reddit
Eh, OP wasn’t being malicious so I give her a pass.
If you lie, there’s always a chance you’re going to get caught.
What about you? Are you on the girlfriend’s side? Tell us why or why not in the comments!
