Family dynamics can be complicated, but when the parents refuse to act like adults and force children – even older ones – to swap roles, things can get downright depressing (and sometimes ugly).
This 19yo girl has lived at home her whole life, and at some point started to take over 1/3 of the bills at home, since her parents have proven they’re not responsible with money.
My parents (F45) (M50) love the phrase “work to live, not live to work”.
The phrase is pretty cool, but it’s not not cool to be the son of parents like that. They work as freelancers most of their time and spend more than they should.
Me (F19) and my brother Thomas (M14) live in several bad situations because of this.
Right now, they live in a three bedroom apartment where her parents share a room, and the other two are for her and her younger brother.
We’ve been living on rent forever, because my parents can’t pay a mortgage and don’t keep any money.
Since last year I have contributed to all the household bills. All expenses are shared between my father, mother and me equally.
We currently live in a three bedroom apartment. Naturally, my parents sleep together in one room.
My brother and I have our single rooms.
Everything is about to change, however, because her mother turned up with a surprise pregnancy and her father doesn’t want the crib in their room.
They want her to give up her room, but she’s refusing – mostly because she pays for it fair and square.
My mother got pregnant at 45 and no one is very excited about the news. My dad doesn’t want the crib in their room, so he suggested I move out of my room and sleep in the same room as Thomas.
My room would be for the newborn. I disagreed because 1. I don’t feel comfortable sharing a room with a sibling of the opposite s*x; 2.I pay the bills like any other adult and 3.The baby is theirs.
When her father called her selfish OP blew up, stating that they were the ones who weren’t responsible and the only reason she stayed there at all was because she worried her sibling(s) wouldn’t get fed otherwise.
My parents called me selfish.
Here I may have been AH: I said I wouldn’t share a room with my brother so my parents could have s*x away from the baby and that I just wouldn’t leave that house because I knew Thomas and the baby would go hungry.
Her mom is upset and even her younger brother thinks she went too far.
Since then my mother has been sleeping at a friend’s house so she doesn’t see me and my father doesn’t talk to me.
Thomas said I was such an asshole.
What about Reddit? Get ready for their thoughts below!
This wasn’t the only comment to suggest that OP needs to get out and then let child services deal with her parents/younger sibs.
They suggested she could actually be more helpful to the younger ones once she had her own place and was financially stable.
Everyone deserves a life of their own.
This sounds like a situation where the authorities should have the final say, not the people in the situation.
It might be time for OP to put her own oxygen mask on first.
I can’t imagine having the stress of helping keep your parents afloat and helping to make sure your younger (ungrateful) sibling can eat only to learn that yet another burden that you didn’t create is headed your way.
How would you advise this young woman? Let’s discuss in the comments!