One of the hardest and scariest things we do as parents is leave our kids with people who are essentially strangers. Sure, we can get references and sure, our kids can give us their feedback (if they’re old enough), but even though hiring babysitters is a part of life for most of us, the truth is that the whole system is fraught with pitfalls.
These people have a 14yo daughter and two younger boys, and have gotten into the habit of having a babysitter when they’re not home because they don’t expect their older daughter to take on that responsibility on a regular basis.
This goes even more so lately, as she lost her best friend to leukemia and has been searching for ways to cope and work through her grief.
One of those methods is through a journal.
AITA for calling my husband delusional for expecting me to re-hire the babysitter after she read our daughter’s journal?
My husband and I work long shifts, We have 3 kids and for years we’ve been hiring babysitters of different kinds to help with the kids. my oldest is my 14 yo daughter Lauren. She’s been going through hard phase after her best friend passed away from leukemia on December. It impacted her hugely.
She received therapy for 2 months and is doing better now but grief has no timeline and she misses her bestie so much. I do all I can to be available and lend a comforting shoulder. we got her a new journal to write down about her thoughts and feelings and she’s been doing a lot better since she had it.
We were looking for a babysitter and my husband suggested his friend’s 17 yo daughter. I know her, so I said yes right away. She worked for us for weeks, she sometimes tease Lauren about her being uptight, never smiling, giving her the nickname “grinch”. I’d told her to stop it but she said she was just messing with her trying to get her to cheer up “no biggie”. Days ago while I was working Lauren called me and was crying saying I needed to come home, I freaked out and when I got there I saw the babysitter sitting with the kids, Lauren was upstairs. She said the babysitter took her journal and started reading it out loud in front of the kids while recording herself. I was pissed a.f I asked the babysitter and she said she was just messing with Lauren and showing her that it’s okay to speak emotions out loud instead of bottling up. She really she thought was helping her overcome her fear to express herself. I yelled saying it wasn’t her place and that she caused more trouble than ever. She apologized and swore she deleted the video but I told her she could no longer work for us and needed to leave. She broke down crying and apologizing to me and Lauren. But I refused to let her keep her job. I know Lauren doesn’t want to be around her anymore.
My husband came home and was upset that I let the babysitter go reminding me that this was his friend’s daughter and I shouldn’t have made her leave. He argued that I handled this the wrong way and that I should’ve been the adult in this situation instead of yelling and kicking her out. I explained what she did to Lauren but he said “I agree with you on this, she should’ve known better but she didn’t, kids her age make mistakes, what’s done’s done she apologized so we should give her another chance”
He kept on about how this impacted his friendship of 14 years. Also said we’re now without a babysitter and he’s trip is this week so I have no choice but to let her come back but I said no, she will never step a foot in the house again. He called me unreasonable by referring to everything as if it’s mine and he shouldn’t have an opinion. and said it’s his house too. I ended up calling him delusional for expecting me to re-hire her after the stunt she pulled on Lauren and I won’t let it happen because my daughter can’t feel comfortable in her home. He got very upset for what I said and stopped speaking to me since then.
Who is wrong here? Who is right? You know Reddit is about to weigh in!
The consensus is definitely that a teenage girl’s mental and emotional stability come first.
Pretty much everyone believes the husband needs to take a look at his priorities.
It really does seem like a little bit of a no-brainer, right?
The daughter has the right to set boundaries about who she’s alone with, full stop.
Her daughter is lucky to have a mom who will stand up for her and not give in.
This is the kind of mama bear we all need, and the kind of mama bear we need to be, I think.
Do you feel differently? Should they give the babysitter another chance because she’s just a kid, too? Sound off in the comments!