The “Real” Dangers of Black-Tiled Pools as Told by the Tumblrati

I guess that some people are using black tiles to make their swimming pools look minimalistic, or like black holes, or some other reason fads start when regular swimming pools have been perfectly serviceable since forever.

If you’re thinking about getting one for yourself, well….you might want to read through this very informative (and hilarious) Tumblr thread first.

It began when someone posted a picture of black-tiled pools, praising the aesthetic. Someone replied, suggesting they use “that black material that absorbs all light” so they could “swim over the void” – presumably referring to Vantablack.

Image Credit: Tumblr

To which, someone replied with a Doomsday script that is sure to attract Jerry Bruckheimer like white on rice.

In it, they began with the “fun fact” that Vantablack would heat up so quickly in the sun that the pool would soon boil anyone swimming in it.

Image Credit: Tumblr

Then, they added the fact that boiling pool water would emit a chlorine gas that would eventually kill most of your town.

Image Credit: Tumblr

And then continuing with the (fact?) that anyone who survived that would be turned into a flesh-craving zombie.

Image Credit: Tumblr

Like, a real one.

Image Credit: Tumblr

Some people can’t let anyone have any fun.

By the way that was all made up. Every single word of it.

How do we know? Oh, just a guess…

Image Credit: Tumblr

Yes, they were just having fun. And we were having a little fun with you because, well, why not. It’s not like anything matters anymore anyway, right?

Did you think that science was legit? Imagine if it was!

Okay, I’ve got an idea for a new novel…