Maybe you’ve never spent much time thinking about whether or not Cap’n Crunch or the Quaker Oats guy has an actual name, or a life before they found their faces on the front of a breakfast product, but listen…I bet you are now.
And here I am, happy to help you sate your newfound curiosity about the given names of these 19 fictional characters.
19. MR. SNUFFLEUPAGUS // ALOYSIUS SNUFFLEUPAGUS
I guess he’s not really imaginary because he has a real first name (just like most of the characters on Sesame Street.
18. CAP’N CRUNCH // HORATIO MAGELLAN CRUNCH
Who knew that the cereal-peddling captain of the S.S. Guppy had a real name? He does, though, and has since he was created in the early 1960s.
17. GUY SMILEY // BERNIE LIEDERKRANTZ
I mean, “Guy Smiley” was a bit on the nose for a television host, right?
16. THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY // POPPIN’ FRESH
Copywriter Rudy Perez invented Poppin’ Fresh in 1965. He also has a wife, Poppie Fresh, two kids, Popper and Bun Bun, a cat named Biscuit and a dog named Flapjack.
15. PEPPERMINT PATTY // PATRICIA REICHARDT
In a strip on January 15, 1972, she reveals her real name.
14. THE QUAKER OATS GUY // LARRY
Sure, he looks austere and like he founded a country or something, but the people at Quaker affectionately know him as “Larry.”
13. MUTED TRUMPET TEACHER // MISS OTHMAR
The teacher in the Peanuts strip that sounds a bit like a muted trumpet? Miss Othmar…at least until she got married and became Mrs. Hagemeyer.
12. MRS. BUTTERWORTH // JOY BUTTERWORTH
She wasn’t given a name until a 2009 marketing campaign, and they went with one that made them feel the way they felt when they bit into a warm stack of pancakes.
11. MR. CLEAN // VERITABLY CLEAN
His name was supposedly chosen during a promotion called “Give Mr. Clean a First Name.” It was run in 1962, but nothing was said about a first name until the 1980s.
10. COMIC BOOK GUY // JEFF ALBERTSON
This recurring Simpsons character’s name is Jeff Albertson, though Matt Groening revealed in a 2003 interview that, in his mind, his name has always been Louis Lane.
9. BARBIE // BARBARA MILLICENT ROBERTS
Barbie is much catchier, though the full name is an homage to the real-life daughter of co-creators Ruth and Elliot Handler.
8. MOM FROM FUTURAMA // CAROL MILLER
Writer Patric Verrone named her after his own mother. I’m guessing there’s some baggage there!
7. KEN // KEN CARSON
Barbie’s beau also has a full name – and it’s after the Handler’s son. Neither kid reportedly impressed (though I’m sure they enjoy the cash).
6. THE MONOPOLY POLICEMAN // OFFICER EDGAR MALLORY
You’ve been sent directly to jail by one Officer Edgar Mallory.
5. THE OPERATION PATIENT // CAVITY SAM
An unfortunate name for an unfortunate fellow.
4. THE MONOPOLY INMATE // JAKE THE JAILBIRD
You can buy your way out of jail, but this guy is stuck for life.
3. THE CHURCH LADY // ENID STRICT
Dana Carvey’s character has the most perfect name. Of course.
2. THE RICH MONOPOLY GUY // MILBURN PENNYBAGS
He was dubbed “Mr. Monopoly” after Hasbro purchased Parker Brothers.
1. COOKIE MONSTER // SID
It was 2004 when everyone’s favorite cookie fiend revealed his real name was Sid (or perhaps Sidney).
I am just gobsmacked, y’all – what about you?
Which one surprised you the most? Tell us in the comments!