Alright folks, this is it. There’s only ONE Blockbuster Video left on the entire fucking planet, and it’s in Bend, Oregon.
Here’s what the store has to deal with in the process of surviving…
- A Gen X general manager who is basically irreplaceable because of all her arcane organizational memory.
- Floppy disks that reboot a computer system that hasn’t been updated in years.
- A broken dot-matrix printer, so membership cards have to be filled out by hand.
- And all the store’s business transactions are backed up on a reel-to-reel tape.
But it doesn’t matter what kind of arcane shit they have to go through, because this location is a legit cultural phenomenon. Tourists used to stop to take selfies and snatch up shirts, cups, magnets, bumper stickers and hats with the words, “The Last Blockbuster in America” on them. Pretty soon, that’ll be changed to “The Last Blockbuster on the Planet.”
And now Twitter barges in, as you knew it would.
Because this last location (we think… it’s not entirely clear) runs a hilarious account:
Underdogs never came back from the dead? I guess You’ve never heard of Jesus.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 23, 2016
And the hilarity continues:
Due to financial strain, we will no longer be purchasing any new additions of the Air Bud series.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 29, 2016
They’ve even got some great deals:
Listen, if you rent 3 movies you can take as many Sour Straws as you want.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 27, 2016
And yes, you need to still be kind and rewind:
If we have to rewind one more returned movie for a customer we’re going to lose our fucking minds.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 25, 2016
Some days are better than others:
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) February 22, 2019
And the perks aren’t what they used to be:
Blockbuster used to send one lucky employee to the Oscars but then one year the winner got into a shouting match with Pierce Brosnan and that was that.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) February 25, 2019
But they’re still very inclusive. Even if you are bald.
Blockbuster is proud to be an equal opportunity employer. Whether you’re straight, gay, bi, bald, or trans, we’d love to have you join the team.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) February 8, 2019
Recently, they even played an April Fool’s joke:
Yes, we opened up an hour late today as an april fools prank.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) April 1, 2019
Okay, I’m sold. I need to plan a trip to this Blockbuster immediately. My life won’t be complete without this visit to my childhood vision of heaven.
Who’s with me?!