When you say something like this to someone, especially if it’s one of your parents, you know that things haven’t exactly been going well…
Probably for years and years….
But still, did this person go too far?
Read the story below and see what you think…
AITA for telling my dad I owe him nothing and throwing his words back at him during an argument?
“The gist is this. I lost my mom to a long term health issue when I was 10. The cost of treatment drained my parent’s finances and it was just dad and me after mom died. No extended family.
Dad started dating when I was 12 and he met Jane. After a few months he told me her son had a form of brain cancer and was very sick and that they were getting married and he would be helping to take care of her son. We went from two in a tiny two bedroom house to four in a tiny two bedroom house and me sharing with a terminally ill toddler I didn’t know.
We had to make so many changes. No more takeout (which was a once a month treat before that). I had to stop my only extra curricular activity. No friends over because noise bothered him. No space that was just mine. No extra money for celebrating birthdays and Christmas.
When I was 15 dad and I got into a huge argument because I was never home, and was always saying no to helping Jane take care of her son. When I told him how much I h**ed the situation he looked me in the eye and told me to grow up. He also told me that I was old enough to understand that life wasn’t always easy or fun and that a rougher life can build character.
He told me we grew our family, which was a good thing, and one of the consequences of that sometimes is having less, but that it was worth it for the extra love. I told him that was bulls**t. He told me I was not his whole life and he was not going to stop doing what he wanted to do because of me. Then he told me to never, ever say anything negative around his stepson because he was a kid and didn’t need to know I resented him for being sick.
After that talk I was even more distant and left when I was 17, right after graduation, and couch surfed until I went to college (I graduated high school at 17 and turned 18 that October). I didn’t stay in touch. When I was 19 I heard that dad’s stepson had died. In college I met my wife and we got married this past June. Then in November my dad showed up and told me he wanted to talk. I shut the door in his face.
He kept showing up where I was to talk. After getting annoyed with him I agreed to meet him for a coffee. He told me how he’d ended up divorced from Jane and how his stepson had died and he looked disappointed when he learned I knew. He told me how he’d been struggling a lot and how he was hoping I could help him out.
I laughed in his face and told him he had some nerve. He mentioned how he’d spent a lot of money on finding me and he wanted us to repair things but he also needed my help. I told him no way. He became angry and told me he was my dad and was always there for me and I owed him. I
told him I owed him nothing and I threw most of his words back in his face, including that he needed to grow up and that he was not my whole life and would not stop me doing what I want. It became a bit of a scene. He told me at my age I should have grown more compassion.
And here’s how Reddit users reacted.
This person said they are NTA and that they owe their dad nothing.
Another individual said they are NTA and they handled this maturely.
And this Reddit user said this person has been through a lot and they should probably consider therapy.
What do you think?
Let us know in the comments.
Thanks a lot!