This Person Got Married at the Family Home When Their Cousin Wasn’t Allowed To. Are They a Jerk?

Family drama alert! Family drama alert!

You know it, you love it, you see it all the time.

And you know that things are really gonna get ratcheted up if there are weddings involved.

Take a look at this story from Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole?” page about some wedding drama that led to some hard feelings among cousins.

AITA for getting married at the family house, when my cousin wasn’t allowed to?

“My father and his two brothers share ownership of a house they inherited. The house is old, but it has a beautiful backyard with a pool.

No one actually lives there now, but it’s close to our hometown and we hang out there quite a lot as a family and my father and his two brothers contribute to it equally (both financially and with maintenance-type things).

Now, in March 2020, one of my cousins (now 34F) got engaged and decided she wanted to get married fast and have her wedding that summer, if the lockdown had been lifted by then. It became clear right off the bat her plan was to have the reception at the family house.

She brought it up on a family video chat and my father (who is a doctor in our small town) said he was totally opposed to it, mostly because of the optics of hosting a massive wedding on his property, but also because he, himself, didn’t want to “endorse” it. He proposed she postponed it, but she didn’t want to.

Her father and my other uncle decided that, since it was my father’s house too, he had to approve of it and, since he didn’t, she had to go with a different venue. Her wedding happened last summer; my father chose not to go and refused to see any one of us who had gone for two weeks (he lives alone). My cousin was very resentful of my father at first and even stopped speaking to him for a bit.

Flash forward to earlier this year – I (28F) got engaged. We are planning to get married in Spring 2022 and we would like to do it at the family house. We really like it, it allows for a cheaper wedding (not having to pay for a venue) and it holds some meaning for us as a couple as well.

I talked to my father about it and he was completely on board with the idea, but said I needed to talk to my uncles as well. So, this last weekend, we were all hanging out at the pool and I brought up the topic, saying I intended to get married at the house.

My cousin immediately jumped out at me, saying I was stealing her idea and that it wasn’t fair that I could get married at the house when my father didn’t let her get married there.

My father intervened saying the circumstances were different, but that ultimately he understood if his brothers were against it. My cousin’s father said he did agree it wasn’t “too nice” of me, but that he wouldn’t stand in my way. My other uncle was okay with it. My cousin and her mother, however, are really, really angry with me and my cousin has even said I shouldn’t bother inviting her to the wedding because she won’t come anyway.

I will say that I did think the circumstances were different and therefore didn’t even consider that I wasn’t being considerate of her and I also really, really want to get married at the house. But I love my cousin and seeing her reaction really made me second guess everything.



Take a look at what people had to say about this.

This person believes that the person who wrote the post is absolutely not the a**hole here.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another reader said that the cousin acted like a jerk during the pandemic and it was her fault and if she would’ve waited until the pandemic had slowed down, it might have been a different story.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user agreed and said that the cousin sounds like a very entitled person, plain and simple.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Lastly, this individual said that the person who wrote the post isn’t at fault here, but that sometimes, when it comes to family, you have to swallow your pride to keep everyone happy.

Ain’t that the truth…?

Photo Credit: Reddit

Do you think this situation was unfair to the person’s cousin?

Or was it blown out of proportion?

Talk to us in the comments and let us know what you think.