Remember the episode of Seinfeld when Elaine found out the Today Sponge was going off the market? She canvassed every store on the Upper West Side that sold them and then started stockpiling (and rationing). Is there a product in your life that would inspire the same mania?
I’d have to give it some consideration, though I’m not sure how I would fare without Hershey’s Kisses…
The 15 people below have some ideas of their own, and just thinking about some of this stuff disappearing is enough to give me palpitations!
#15. Important stuff.
“The bra I like.”
#14. My guilty pleasure.
“Gummy bears/worms. They are my guilty pleasure.”
#13. I WILL DIE FOR YOU.
“Ms. Vickie’s Salt n Vinegar chips. I WILL DIE FOR YOU, OLD LADY.”
#12. The godfather of blunts.
“Canada changed their flavored tobacco laws year back and banned lots of kinds of blunt wraps. I bought a couple cases of them. These were the real leaf prerolled with wooden tips. I was the godfather of blunts that summer.”
#11. For every possible purpose.
“I have a 100 year supply of incandescent bulbs for every possible purpose.”
#10. The only guy clean enough.
“Soap. I will be the only guy clean enough to attract women.”
#9. The best treat.
“Peanut M&M’s. They ain’t for everyone, but they’re the best treat after a long week for me.”
“Screws. They’re super-cheap right now but frustrating to actually make yourself. Nearly every modern construction requires them (heck, the chair I’m sitting in has about a dozen in it.) If they stop mass-producing them, anyone who doesn’t have a healthy supply stockpiled is screwed.”
#7. I hoard them in the freezer.
“Every year I buy a ton of Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs around Easter…it’s the perfect peanut butter to chocolate ratio. I hoard them in the freezer and try to make them last as long as possible….”
#6. For my dog.
“My dog’s absolute favorite toy is this little blue Octopus with one of those supersonic squeakers that only dogs can hear. Unfortunately, she would rip the legs off and pull the stuffing out. I bought the last two that the store had in stock as backups in case she destroyed her original toy.
Eventually, she had damaged all 3 of her octopus toy. I taught myself basic sewing to keep up some repairs, but she needed another backup just in case.
The store didn’t have any in stock. The manager said that the company didn’t offer those anymore and offered an alternative, but it just wasn’t the same. Rio wanted her blue octopus. The manager understood, and he ordered the 3 octopus toys that their warehouse still had in stock for me.
Now Rio is back to happily ripping the legs off of her favorite toy! Here she is with part of her stash!”
#5. Like a real drunk.
“When Johnnie Walker discontinued Green label in 2012, I bought two cases of it. My mom, being a saint, saw a case for sale at a liquor store in Fort Worth, TX and bought it for me. So here I am with 36 bottles of scotch. They ended up bringing it back in 2016, well before I’d drank even half the bottles. Wound up bringing them in place of wine to dinner parties & other social functions. Makes you look like a real drunk.”
#4. Infinity pads.
“Always infinity pads… they’re one of the few things I’m not allergic to, and believe me hives suck down there.”
#3. It pays to be practical.
#2. Out of season.
“I stockpile Boo-Berry cereal every year before it goes out of season.”
#1. In my country.
“I literally stockpile Old Spice Wolfthorn deodorant because it seems they’re being discontinued in my country. Nothing major, I just pick up a bar if I’m at the grocery and I see one.
Guitar strings as well, the brand I’ve been using since I was 15 seem to be becoming rarer and rarer.”
Here’s hoping these stockpiles are never necessary!