What’s the Most Intoxicated You’ve Ever Been? People Shared Their Stories.

Oh, boy…

These responses are gonna be fun…

Because we’re about to hear from folks on AskReddit about the most intoxicated they’ve ever been in their lives.

Are y’all ready for this?

Let’s have some fun!

This is amazing.

“During college, in about 1993, I was at a birthday party in downtown Baltimore and left after midnight to take a bus home.

When I woke up I was lying on a pile of sheet metal in some kind of factory, welding and sparks flying around me. I stumbled out, past some kind of locker room, and out into a yard of warehouses and factories. I made my way to a parking lot about half a mile away and hitchhiked out of there with a guy finishing up his factory shift.

He asked how I ended up there and I mumbled something about getting jumped by some guys and dumped there. He told me next time to punch one guy as hard as I could in the nose and the others would back off.

He dropped me off at a bus stop and I looked around but couldn’t see the Baltimore skyline so I had no idea where I was. Was I even in Maryland?When the bus came I got on and the bus driver gave me directions—one bus transfer later I was at the Inner Harbor, and another transfer got me home.

It turns out I had somehow gotten to Sparrows Point, about 25 miles from Baltimore, but have no idea how it happened.”

Wrong boat.

“I left a party with a bottle because a girl I liked made out with someone else.

Eventually walked back and fell asleep in the boat my buddy’s dad had out front because I didn’t want to go back inside the party.

Woke up getting poked with a broom and told to get out. Had climbed into a neighbor’s boat several streets down.”

In Berlin.

“Years ago, backpacking on my own in Berlin. Had been out on one of those bar crawls that are targeted at people just like me at that time.

The final stop was one of those multi level clubs that Berlin is famous for. I was wasted and time to call it a day. I stumbled out of the club and found my way to a taxi. I hop in the back of the cab, and in my thickest dr**kest Australian accent declare “Seinfeld Place please!”

After a bit of dr**ken back and forth, we managed to figure out that I probably meant “Seinnerfelder Platz”. €90 later (I’m pretty sure I fell asleep in the cab) and the driver dropped me off at the station.

I spent the next 45 minutes wandering up and down the street with a fold out map out in front of me trying to figure out where I was and why I couldn’t find my hostel. At least two different people came up to me to see if I was ok or needed help. I finally found my hostel…

Directly across the street from where the cab had dropped me.”

Where am I?

“I woke up in the dark and started screaming because I thought I was in the trunk of a car until my friend opened the bathroom door and flicked the lights on.

They had coaxed me into the bathtub to contain my alc**hol induced vomiting to the space I was least likely to destroy. I wasn’t wearing any pants and I never did find them again. I had blue stains on my light grey shirt and I was covered in Cheeto dust.

I don’t remember leaving the bar we had gone to or getting back to my friends place at all. I had red ink all over my a** and my light blue thong which completely mystified me until I went through my camera roll.

Someone had taken a video on my phone of me bent over the shooter bar and having a stripper sign my a** with a red marker. I had 2 broken toes, a chipped front tooth, and a really deep bite mark on my right nipple that had drawn blood…. Still don’t know who or what was involved in any of those things happening.

I’ll be 6 years sober on June 19th.”

You’re lucky.

“Had al**hol poisoning. Passed out in the snowbank in minus 30 weather.

Thankfully someone found me soon after. My fingers and the tip of my nose are sensitive to cold but it’s no frostbite.”

Bad news.

“About 6 drinks in I bet some cocky d**che that he could not knock me out with a single clean punch.

I barely won and proceeded to drink the pain away which led to falling through a coffee table and falling asleep in a bath tub while my EMT friend checked on me all night.

The hangover lasted for days.”

Me and my mates.

“I was about 19, and my mates had a house near a bar, so we all used to go there, get d**nk, walk to the house and sleep in the living room.

There was a bunch of us so it was normal for us to leave in several different groups. One night on the way home, we passed a construction site with a shirt hanging off of the fence. A few homes down was a singlet, further on was shoes then socks, then pants.

Finally, a few homes away from our destination was one of the guys, passed out in his jocks and soaking wet. We got him up and into the house.

The next day we discovered that he was wet because another group of friends had found him passed out, and being as dr**k as they were decided the best course of action would be to break into the construction site, steal a bucket of nasty water with god knows what in it and throw it on him to wake him up.

Only they didn’t want him to be pissed that they threw water on him, so they threw it and ran away.

I miss being able to say that my bad decisions were due to being a teenager.”

About last night…

“Ordered 10 tequila shots for a group, only 2 people took me up on it so I wasn’t gonna let them go to waste.

2 hours later I woke up with a new hat, laying like Jesus on the cross on the hood of a random car in an near-empty parking lot in Antigua.”

Time to leave.

“I woke up on the floor with one leg on the couch in a strangers living room in only tighy-whities that were not mine and my p**is and balls were stuck out through the little hole flap in the front.

A guy around my age came out of a hallway and said, “Oh good, you’re finally awake. Can you please leave?”

I was so embarrassed and freaked out I just got up and walked out the door, got to the road and realized I was only a few minutes walk from my friends house (where we had started drinking the night before) so I instinctively started walking that way but I was in such a daze trying to remember what had happened that I didn’t realize my p**is was hanging out till a car drove by.

Then it hit me that I was basically naked, and I started walking as fast as I could to my friends house (no shoes plus back roads made it, so i couldn’t run). Luckily, when I got there, his mother and sisters were all gone, and he and another friend from a few miles down the road were sitting playing videogames.

I immediately asked them WTF happened and why the f**k they left me with a stranger and they just laughed. To this day, I have yet to get a straight answer from the one of them still talk to as to what happened that day. Never got my clothes back either.

I forgot to mention my friends and I were around 16 – 17 (I’m 32 now) when this happened, and the whole event took place on a hillbilly mountain in nowhere, Alabama.”

A wild evening.

“Went out after work with some coworkers in Manhattan NYC and woke up on the 3 train in the Bronx in a storage yard on Saturday morning.

It was a miracle I didn’t get robbed. No one woke me up either  I had to call for help to get out of there and I received a summons for public intoxication.”

Do you have a story like this?

If so, lay it on us in the comments!

We can’t wait to hear from you!