The mindset of all people changes once they have children.
And even if they think they might not be offending people and projecting certain attitudes onto others, it happens.
A woman asked readers on the “Am I the *sshole?” page on Reddit if someone in her women’s group was out of line when she talked about females with no kids.
Here’s what went down.
AITA for telling a mother in my women’s group she’s projecting onto childfree women?
“Before the pandemic I (29F) joined a women’s support group consisting of eight members.
We have a few certain rules and fundamental beliefs that are clearly laid out we won’t deviate from, but for the most part we’re a general women’s support group with women from many walks of life. All are mothers except myself and one other member: We are both happily childfree.
I don’t hate kids by any means, and it’s been my observation mothers get the short of the end of the stick a lot, so I don’t have any qualms how often the topic of conversation veers into the mothers venting about that and all that goes with it. Janet is my age with three kids and does this often. Again, not a problem.
But during our weekly meet-up on Sunday, now held via Zoom due to COVID, Janet and another member started discussing how having children is something women have a “natural instinct” for, and that it’s “like a primal urge” and “saying otherwise is deluding yourself.”
They were seemingly speaking generally, but me and the other childfree member still took issue with this. We both agreed out loud Janet was likely projecting onto us because she sometimes questioned her own decisions.
Things got ugly from there. Janet disconnected and the group lead said that we should all take a break for the week.
Earlier today, the lead contacted me and said that the rest of the group had voted me and the other childfree member off the island for a two week ban. Her reasoning was we had “lifestyle shamed” Janet.
She went onto explain what Janet was actually saying was that childfree women should be allowed to change their mind about having children without being shamed. Had Janet said that, I would have agreed, but she didn’t.
I told the lead that I was not interested in re-joining. The other childfree member is upset as this has been her main social circle for nearly a year, and is now saying we were too harsh and should ask Janet for forgiveness to gain entry back into the group. I don’t think we should, and that there are other groups we could join for socializing, but am I being an *sshole?”
And here’s what folks on AskReddit had to say about this.
This reader said that the woman who wrote the post was not in the wrong. At all.
Another reader said that this woman seemed extremely judgmental and this was not the time or the place for it.
This Reddit user said that, as a woman, she doesn’t have the urge to have children either and that the person who wrote the post was not wrong for feeling the way they did.
Another individual said that it seems like the women without children in this group might be getting the short end of the stick.
Lastly, this person said that the obsession some women have with OTHER women having children is just baffling.
What do you think?
Was this an *sshole move, or no big deal?
Talk to us in the comments and share your thoughts!