Things can get pretty tricky when certain friends drink booze and certain friends don’t.
It can lead to hurt feelings and a lot of misunderstandings.
And this woman took to Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” page because she ran into an interesting situation…
Read on to see what went down.
AITA for not drinking around my largely sober friends?
“Over the new year I (25f) went to a small get together with some of my friends for the weekend. Since it was New Years Eve I packed several beers to enjoy while we were there. I’ve always been more of a drinker than this group of friends, think 1 or 2 drinks when we go out Vs. my 4 or 5.
New Years Eve I’m admittedly getting quite tipsy, not black out, I remember everything, just louder and more inappropriate. One of my friends however keeps side eyeing me and then attempts to take my beer from me saying, “I think you should stop.”
This was my eighth beer, so I shrug, chug it and say “Ok”, I didn’t have anymore that night but the looks I was getting were so transparently judgmental that I began to feel guilty. At bedtime I was told that I could have the private room at the end of the house while the others slept in the living room, when I said I was ok to take the couch, it was insisted I take the room alone.
Now booze always makes me more emotional, usually for the happy better but I was already crestfallen so that was the straw that broke the sad d**nk camel’s back. Feeling banished I went to the room misty eyed and tried to have a silent d**nken cry until I fell asleep.
The next day, my friends told me that the amount I drank last night made them uncomfortable and that they heard me crying and never want me to drink that much in front of them again. They are allowed to have boundaries with me and so I apologized and said I wouldn’t do it again.
I only had four drinks left at this point so that night I cracked one and got an immediate “don’t over do it tonight.” I nursed every drink gingerly while I got the same annoyed side eye. The rest of the trip was soured for me after that but again people are allowed to have boundaries about this sort of thing, and I understand to someone sober, someone d**nk can be obnoxious. That said I felt policed about my drinking while I was supposed to be at a party.
I decided I simply wont drink around this friend group. This choice has backfired spectacularly.
We hung out again and I was offered a beer. I politely declined and this was seen as odd because, as established before, I like to drink with my friends. When asked why I explained that I feel like my drinking makes them uncomfortable and their scrutiny about my drinking makes me uncomfortable so if I remove al**hol from the equation entirely then the issue is resolved.
I was called a martyr and childish, I honestly tried not to make a big show of not drinking, just gentle refusal. But they see me saying that “I have other friends I can drink with” as an attack on them. I was asked if I was going to spend New Years with them next year and I was honest and said, “probably not.”
I turned down a different set of friends this year to go to this thing with them. They see this as me choosing al**hol over them, which isn’t true, I want to still be around them, I just won’t drink with them.
Everything has been tense since.
AITA for not wanting to drink around them?”
And here’s what Reddit users had to say about this.
One reader said that they initially thought she was an a**hole but then they changed their mind.
Photo Credit: Reddit
And another person said that her friends sound like they’re pretty difficult people.
Photo Credit: Reddit
This Reddit user said that it just seems like there’s no way this woman can win with these people.
Photo Credit: Reddit
And another Reddit user said that this woman doesn’t really have a lot of options with these folks.
Photo Credit: Reddit
What do you think about this story?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know.
Thanks a lot!
