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As cheesy as it sounds, I would venture a guess that there are a good many women out there who have had some kind of idea what they would like their wedding to look like one day.
I’m sure men think about it too, but when it comes to things like dresses, flowers, decor, and the like, I imagine many find their interest waning when it comes to the details.
This OP’s issue isn’t (or at least wasn’t) with her husband, but with her mother-in-law, whose “vision” for their wedding doesn’t always match with the bride’s own.
My fiance M33, and I F28 are getting married in december. His mom is the intrusive type but she’s nice overall and we….somewhat get along.
I hate to admit that wedding planning has been an absolute nightmare. His mom wasn’t willing to agree on most things, and my fiance said that since he’s her only son then I should respect and appreciate this “vision” she has for the wedding and how it should be.
When the two of them (and her friends and mom) went wedding dress shopping, the disagreements continued. The bride stuck to her guns, though, and purchased the dress she wanted to walk down the aisle in.
She insisted to come along for wedding dress shopping. I took her with me and my mom and friends. I was so lucky to have found what I was looking for. but she picked a dress that she liked so much and said that “she always pictured her son’s bride in it” mom and friends thought this line was creepy.
I thought the dress was somewhat creepy and toooootally not my type. I apologized and thanked her for her “vision” but told her that I’d already decided on a dress that I had “envisioned” myself wearing at my wedding!.
Her fiancee learned how the day went, and instead of supporting his future wife, he took his mother’s side. He wanted OP to go along with his mother’s wishes because it’s “his wedding too.”
She got all pissy because of it apparently, then must’ve told my fiance because, he came home in the evening ranting about how I made his mom upset and “turned down” her help in choosing the wedding dress and excluded her from the process.
I asked “what process?” duh it’s just a wedding dress…my wedding dress so I really didn’t get how she should get a say at all!. He got upset and said that this attitude of mine isn’t working on him or his mom.
He said that I should consider the dress his mom wanted me to buy especially knowing that “both dresses weren’t that much different anyway” like she said but I told him yes they were different…like so much different.
She thought the argument had been settled only to arrive home one day to find that he had returned her dress and replaced it with his mother’s choice.
Anyways, We argued about it then we dropped it. Yesterday I came home and found out that he had returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom wanted.
I called him and he was straightforward about what he did and why he did it. I lost it and started screaming at him. He asked me to calmn down and really give this dress “a chance”.
I refused to even listen I screamed at him without giving him a chance to speak. He got home and we had an argument.
OP was livid and said as much (in very angry words), but her partner completely refused to see it from anyone’s point-of-view other than his mother’s.
She’s gone to stay with a friend but he thinks she’s overreacting.
I then went to stay with one of my friends and he kept calling and calling then texting saying that I overreacted and it’s his wedding too so it wasn’t cool how I screamed at him.
He insisted I give this dress a chance. He went on and on about how his mom has a “vision” and good intentions and just wants what best for me as her future daughter inlaw.
Her mom is on her side but her dad doesn’t think this is an argument worth alienating anyone over and that OP should give in.
Mom is livid and has been wanting to go scream at him and his mom but my dad said that this isn’t worth ruining my relationship with my inlaws.
He suggested I wisen up and “go with the flow” but is it too much for me to be able to pick my own wedding dress without being guilted about it just to keep the peace?.
AITA for my reaction?
What does Reddit think? I have a feeling we already know, but let’s find out anyway!
The top comment says this should definitely be a deal breaker.
Image Credit: Reddit
This comment warns OP that things will not get better after the wedding – and they may get worse.
Image Credit: Reddit
Many other commenters also agreed on that front.
Image Credit: Reddit
More than one person pointed out that this is definitely not about the dress.
Image Credit: Reddit
They say hopefully OP will take this as the huge, flashing red warning sign that it is.
Image Credit: Reddit
I cannot imagine having the gall to do this for someone else’s wedding, whether it was my son’s or not.
What about you? Would you ever think you have the right to choose someone else’s wedding dress?
Let’s talk about it in the comments!
