If you’ve ever worked in customer service, you’ve probably been asked so many dumb questions that you could never remember them all. In my previous life, I answered phone calls at the IRS, and once had to inform someone when tax day was – and that it was the same day every single year.

When I was a waitress, someone sent back their buffalo wings because she “didn’t know they were going to be spicy.”

It’s just one of those things you get used to, because there’s no choice – but these 13 stories are so good/bad that they stuck in these people’s memories forever.

13. Physics, my friend.

That if you order ice cream for 4 people on a hot summer day, but the 4 people are still like 30 minutes away, said ice cream is going to melt before the 4 people get there.

And no, that is not my fault.

12. I wonder why?

You need to take the suppositories out of their foil packaging before you use them.

He complained that they didn’t work and were uncomfortable.

I bet they were.

11. You’re not the only person here. Surprise!

“You’re not more important than any other customer, which is why we sold (whatever you’re looking for) to people who came in here before you.”

People really show how narcissistic they are; they’re offended by the world not revolving around them. You genuinely get people who can’t believe a store didn’t refuse to sell items to other people, on the off chance that the main character comes in and wants one.

Also “It’s sold out because you waited until 2 days before a holiday and other people came in a week ago.”

10. It’s best to be safe.

I used to be a pharmacy tech, when translating the directions from the doctor to what is on the label the pharmacist once told me to assume that the person is an idiot.

That I needed to type in unwrap and insert into the correct orifice. (Unwrap and insert anally or vaginally) even though the sig that the doc wrote is insert one.

9. The moment of silence that must have followed.

– Hello, I made an online order and I see that you’ve charged me “X amount” for shipping cost twice.

– Hmm, that’s weird, let me check…No, I see that it’s the right amount sir.

– You are wrong, I’ve made 2 orders and I’ve already paid the shipping cost for the 1st one, I shouldn’t have to pay twice.

– Oh, I see! You’ve made 2 orders, sure, we can make it one package and only charge you once for the shipping, but can you tell me the order numbers for your orders, because the system shows me that you’ve only placed one today.

– Yeah, the second one was not placed today…

-…When was it placed sir?

– I don’t know, like 3-4 months ago, but still, I’ve PAID for the shipping cost before, why would I have to pay AGAIN?

8. Sorry to inform you.

The library does not stock every book in existence.

Also, the library has a finite number of copies of each book it does have.

You are not the only one to have the brilliant idea of borrowing an insanely popular new title instead of buying it.

In fact, you’re #387 on the list, and we only have four copies.

7. Wouldn’t that be nice.

– Hello, I’ve placed an order, paid with Paypal but you still haven’t sent my items.

– <Checking order #>, Sir, you’ve chosen to pay with Paypal but didn’t actually complete the transaction, we didn’t get any money.

– But…I’ve chosen to pay with Paypal. What do you mean? It’s there, “Paypal”.

– Yes, you actually have to complete the transaction, we didn’t get any money.

– Then what’s the point of having Paypal if I have to pay with my own money??? It’s there, “payment from Paypal”! Ask THEM.

-…tf??

6. Your daughter is an adult, sir.

Years ago I worked in student housing at a university and had to explain to a father, for well over an hour, that I could not make sure that his daughter was in her room by 8 PM and ensure that she never spoke to boys.

That never happened again.

5. You’re not special. I’m very sorry.

-Hey, I’m “random name”, I want my usual, send it today please, ok?

– I’m sorry sir, I don’t know you or what your usual is, can you please tell me what you’d like and your info?

– I’m “RANDOM NAME”! You know me, my usual!! Send it!

– I don’t know you sir, there are like 15 people working here, we’ve never spoken again.

– “X” knows me, ask him!

– X hasn’t worked here since <10 months ago> sir, I cannot ask him who you are and what you want. Please tell me and I’ll take care of it.

– Pfff, NEVER MIND THEN! *CLICK*

4. Unsurprised this is a thing.

I worked at a college. Dear Christ the helicopter parents!

“Can you look up the transactions on my child’s account and send them to me?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?

“Because your child is a legal adult and we protect their privacy.”

“I’m their parent. They don’t need privacy from me!”

“That’s between you and them. The laws protect their privacy from everyone including their parent.”

“Im their guardian and entitled to this information!”

“Without a court order, 18 year olds (or 22 year olds for that matter in some cases) do not have legal guardians.”

“I’m going to report this to the Dean!”

“Please do as it will let them know I’m doing my job.”

3. It’s called business, I’m afraid.

That we sell stuff for a higher price than we buy it in for.

They were genuinely angry that we didn’t buy their crap for the same price we sold it at

2. Alien?

A dialogue I actually had to have with a grown-a$s adult:

Him, pointing at the price tag on a shirt: “Excuse me, what do these numbers represent?”

Me: “The numbers right after the dollar sign?”

Him: “Yes.”

Me: “That’s the price of the shirt.”

Him: “Oh, I see! Thank you!”

At least he was friendly.

1. Side-eyeing that last one so hard.

Oh, so so so many thing.

If you wish to return an item you must present the item and your receipt. I cannot process a refund if you have neither.

No, we do not sell asbestos. No, I cannot order some in for you.

When water boils it does indeed produce “bubbles”. If the water is bubbling once it reaches temperature your kettle is in fact working properly.

Zip ties are not simply ‘disposable handcuffs’. They can be used for other purposes and it should not be concerning nor surprising that a hardware store sells them.

I’m not sorry that time in my life is behind me.

If you’ve spent time working in customer service, please, tell us your best story in the comments!