When you’re a kid, you think your best pals are gonna be there forever.
You’ll go to high school together, stay in the same town, and you’ll be buddies for life.
Well, at least that’s the way I felt…and then life happened and I found out that wasn’t necessarily true.
But that’s the way it goes most of the time.
Why did you stop talking to your childhood best friend?
AskReddit users shared their stories.
1. Separate ways.
“We finished high school.
We went to different colleges and made new best friends.”
2. Time to make amends.
“I got lost in the grips of addiction.
I’m sober now going on two years, and he’s at the top of my amends list.”
3. Felt abandoned.
“At age 17 my best friend met his now wife, and they fell madly in love. I didn’t understand it and I was hurt by feelings of abandonment, and that kind of k**led our friendship.
Now they’ve been married 20 years, have three kids, and are still madly in love, so clearly he made the right choice.
I on the other hand am happy being on my own.
All’s well that ends well.”
4. Never spoke again.
“I realized that every time we’d spoken in the last several months, I had been the one to start the conversation.
I decided to stop and see if he would initiate a conversation and we never spoke again.”
5. Life’s sad like that.
“I had a friend who I adored from about 8 – 12.
He went to a different school at 11 and I tried really hard to remain friends with him, I’d call him weekly, invite him over, do interesting things to get him involved.
Every time I saw him he’d talk about his new friends and how great they were. I felt like he didn’t really want me round much anymore, I’d been abandoned/replaced. So I thought to myself: “f**k it, let’s test this theory”.
I’m approaching 40 now, still quite bitter but equally I’d probably drop everything to go out for a drink with my buddy of 28 years ago.
Life’s sad like that. Unfortunately I don’t think I’ve had a friendship like that since. When I hit my 20s there were some brief stand out friends, but they’re few and far between and burnt half as bright and fizzled out twice as fast.”
6. Became popular.
“We slowly drifted apart during 8-9th grade.
He wanted to become one of the popular kids and I was at the bottom of the social structure.
I have seen him from a distance several times over the years but did not want to bother him.”
7. Back in the day.
“Like many kids of the 1970s and ’80s, there was no tech to stay connected like there is today once we went away to college.
We’d cross paths every so often until his parents sold their home and moved away.
We were briefly friends on Facebook until he deactivated his account. Ironically, I’m in touch with his older brother. In fairness, they don’t have much contact either.
I don’t take it personally, I think he wanted to unplug from the past for whatever reason.”
8. No time for that.
“I didn’t realize how controlling she was.
The friendship fell apart when we went travelling together in our late teens. She h**ed it and went home after a few months but I stayed for two years. When I came back it went downhill very quickly.
I’d learned to say no, have boundaries and have other friends – she h**ed that and stopped talking to me. It’s been 10 years and she still occasionally messages me, saying sorry and wanting to reconcile.
I did the first few times but the friendship always went back to her trying to control me and blowing up when I refused to ‘comply’. I have to just ignore her messages now.”
“He sold out to the “cool kids” and betrayed my trust. I was so hurt at the time, which was expressed as anger.
He and I had been through so much, and always had each other’s backs. Then, one day, I seemingly did not matter. The trust was gone, and I never made any overture to him, nor he to me.”
10. Who knows?
“No clue. I’d love to know the answer.
We were best friends from age 5 till 21. I was at her wedding. All was good.
After that I never spoke to her again. I tried but she never answered. Even her parents and brother and sister have no clue why.”
11. That’s life.
“I bailed om my best friend James because he was not “cool” enough and did not smoke any weed like my new “friends”
Today he’s working for NASA and putting his success aside / I just feel bad for bailing on my childhood friend for people who today don’t care about me
But that’s life I guess.”
12. Too bad.
“My friends (who were brothers) moved to another state.
I called them every week and we had good conversations. My dad asked why I was always the one who called, because it was in his dime, lol, and I said if I don’t call them they will call me.
Never heard from one of them again, and the other only hits me up when he wants something. I’ve heard from him once in 20 years.”
13. Still rooting for them.
“I went through a time of being nostalgic and wanting to connect. But they didn’t show any interest.
Years went by – some have kept me politely added to fb but we don’t interact. Sometimes I like to check up on people – I’m still rooting for them. I’ve never been good at keeping relationships. I was an introvert who had a lot of trauma early in life. I easily made friends but could never keep them.
I couldn’t keep up with people but every person in my life in my childhood was fleeting, a temporary fixture. I don’t know how to maintain a relationship honestly. Many of them are still friends which only stings because it reaffirms that the problem was always me.
Some have since even unfriended me and I can’t blame them. We aren’t friends anymore. We’ve been strangers as many years as we were ever friends.”
Why do you no longer speak to your childhood best friend?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know.
Thanks a lot!