Ahhh, the good, old first date.
Those nights can be exciting, fun, and full of promise…
Or they can be awful and full of red flags that make you never want to go out with that person ever again.
And today we’re gonna hear from AskReddit users about the BIG red flags they noticed on first dates.
Let’s take a look!
“Someone I met through social media, who I had a ton of friends in common but had never met in person, asked me out. We decided to meet at Barnes & Noble so we could get coffee and pick out books (both avid readers). He was crazy attractive and smart, and he seemed really into me. I was super excited.
So we get there and within the first 3 minutes, he asks to kiss me. I agreed and it was…. Wow. Instant fireworks. All the tingly feelings. We keep talking and things are going great but then he proceeds to keep getting continuously more handsy- grabbing my a**, brushing the side of my b**bs while his arm was around me, pulling me by my hips into him.
And all those things are great once you’re a little comfortable with someone, but not at the beginning of a first date. He kept only wanting to make out, and wasn’t accepting my brush offs.
So 10-20 minutes in, I was starting to feel a little icky and kept saying things like “Let’s just keep getting to know each other.” He said something like “I want to get to know you in the bathroom” and honestly that can be taken so many ways but none of them are good. A pickup line involving the word bathroom makes me want to vomit.
Eventually, I said I had to get going to work. He tried to convince me to QUIT MY JOB and stay with him for the day. Told me we could go back to his place. When he said something along the line of “once we get married, you won’t need to work anymore anyway” I was out. Nope, no thank you. Told him it wasn’t going to work. He got hella angry at me for “wasting his time” and bolted. By the time I got to my car, he had already deleted me from all social media.
I’m still not really sure if he was angry that I didn’t want to screw him in the B&N bathroom, didn’t want to marry him, or if it was because I had a job. Maybe all 3. Probably just because he was a moron.”
“The dude spent the whole date talking about how he used to sell c**aine.
“He looked at a photo on the wall of my then-10yr old daughter and said “she’s gonna be s**y when she grows up”.
4. Never saw him again…
“On our first date, he told me he was in med school, at the University in the town we lived in.
I knew immediately there was no med school, but thought perhaps he was taken his pre med classes or something, so went on a second date. He had spent an hour telling me how when he got done with his military service he had worked as a military contractor doing “spy” work in Iraq and “if I only knew the things he’d done!”
We stopped by his apartment to pick something up and while there I noticed all his mail was in a different name than he had given me.
I “magically” got a text from my work, told him I had an emergency and had to go immediately into work and handle it.
After I told him there wouldn’t be a 3rd date, he got spooky angry and I caught him in the bushes outside my apartment, late at night, several times.
I eventually had to get a restraining order – in the name he gave me.
After that, I never saw him again! Thank God!”
5. Worst date ever.
“She was still married and said she just wanted to know if she’d “be able to still get dates if they split up.”
Worst date ever.”
6. Time to go.
“He was about 10 years older than his pictures, he didn’t stop twitching the entire time, and he kept pressuring me to go back to his place.
I noped the f**k outta there.”
“I was planning a first date with this guy years ago and he suggested bowling. I said it was fine, but I’ve done it once a few years prior and I was legitimately terrible at it.The group I was with at the time made it fun regardless of me being totally uncoordinated.
He offered to teach me, but I said another time- I just wanted to get to know him in a relaxed environment. He suggested we still bowl, minus the lessons and he could also share in the hilarity of my lack of skill. I was down.
The night came and the lessons started almost immediately. How to stand, where to stand, everything I’m doing wrong, I’m not taking it seriously, he’s trying to teach me “for my own good”. He became mean.
Not one smile except when he saw me at the start. I told him this was not the fun/chill night I said I was looking for and he told me it would be if I took the game more seriously. He was actually angry about the whole night.”
8. Not exactly a turn-on.
“He told me he had worms.
Not in a casting, fishing, or terrarium kind of way.
Full on internal parasites.”
9. Stop talking!
“I went out for drinks with a guy who monologued the entire time.
Could barely get a word in. The worst.”
“Went out on a date with a guy like that with the added bonus of him referring to himself in the third person.
It. Was. F**king. Weird.”
11. This is amazing.
“He tried to change my order with the waitress because I didn’t order what he’d recommended.”
“We met up at his place. He was making dinner for me. We were chatting on the couch when he stood up to excuse himself to the restroom.
As he was walking away, he turned and mentioned the cameras all over his home so “don’t steal anything”, then he pointed to a stack of papers on an end table. “I believe in honesty. That’s my arrest record. Everything is right there.” He went on his way. I considered leaving right then, but didn’t.
I did pick up that stack of papers. Holy s**t. His arrest record was several pages long and spanned three states. Most of the arrests were for domestic v**lence. There were a couple involving weapons, some minor drug charges and a**ault charges.
He returned and, thank god, my phone rang. I answered it even though I didn’t recognize the number, had no idea who it was. I made like it was one of my daughters and she needed to be picked up from somewhere immediately.
I’ll never know who was actually on the other end of that call, but I left this guy’s home and never looked back. I will admit I casually ignored some red flags before our date. But the camera tale (I don’t believe for a minute he had cameras everywhere) and the criminal history wouldn’t allow me to ignore what I already felt.”
13. Oh, boy…
“1. Argued with me about my order at the steakhouse. I wanted my steak medium rare and he said it should be well done because looking at rare or raw meat makes him sick.
2. Tried to change my order with the waitress when I was in the bathroom. She checked with me before making the change because she heard us arguing. I took my medium rare steak to go.”
What red flags have you noticed on a first date?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know.