We’ve all been using more delivery services than usual over the past couple of years, and I think we’re all also aware that these people are risking a lot to help us out and therefore deserve a nice tip.
Some people with means might even be over-tipping, which is great.
That said, when this sandwich-shop employee delivered a $12 order to a man with Down’s syndrome and received $100 in return, he wasn’t sure how to handle it.
Delivered $12 food order to a person with Down Syndrome and they paid $100, what should I have done in this situation?
byu/Dachshundlover91 inNoStupidQuestions
Was it an accident? A generous gesture?
Reddit’s giving their thoughts on how he should have handled the situation!
16. Maybe not evil.
It doesn’t hurt to ask, if he meant to then no harm and if he didn’t then he gets it back. Also a good point not to bring up his condition.
That being said, OP shouldn’t feel guilty for not asking imo, as they’re clearly worried enough and weren’t evil about it, but it’s something to note for next time.
15. He should probably have double-checked.
I have an adult brother with Down Syndrome who lives independently in an apartment with staff who assist him. Intellectual disability ranges vastly in adults with Downs and it’s impossible to know whether or not he knew the value of the money he handed you.
I would 100% double check to make sure that he realized how much he handed you. Individuals with Downs are often very kind and it’s possible he knew it would make you happy but didn’t realize the repercussions of his kindness. i.e. Not having grocery money or money for that cool day trip he has planned for the week with his family or care providers.
My brother has done similar things like this before without fully understanding what he is doing (he typically struggles with math as well) despite him being considered very high functioning.
TLDR; Double check with the individual, it’s impossible to know if he realized what he was doing. If he did; awesome for you. If not; you may have ensured that he has food this week.
14. More mistakes than one.
The fact that it was made in origami also makes it higher chance that it might be accidental. May be the person had multiple origami notes and they gave you a hundred accidentally. I would totally advice you to go back and confirm it.
On side note: Never accept a origami note from someone. what if it was torn or a fake.
13. It’s a fairly common mistake.
When I was uni I worked in a bookstore where of course for all our regular books etc we took returns, but we had these tables of like total discount books for $1 that we didn’t take returns on (had huge signs). We had a Down Syndrome dude come in and buy like 50 of them by himself, then his carer came back with him an hour or so later SUPER pissed and demanding a refund.
Of course in this case we were happy to do it because we totally understood that he may not have understood the implications of spending $50 on rando books. Didn’t love the carer’s attitude that we should’ve somehow stopped him though.
12. Solely on trust.
I mentored an adult with Down Syndrome. He spoke well and was good with reasoning/ planning.
However, he never learned how to count money. He figured he’d slide his pre-paid visa debit card for the exact amount, or the cashier would give him change if he paid with cash.
He understood the concept of tipping, and would want to tip appropriately, but the numerals on rectangle pieces of paper meant nothing to him.
He depended solely on trusting the amount of change provided.What would you do if your customer had paid with a paper crane $5? Would you assume he knew the value of money and expected you to pay the rest for him?
11. Intervening can be a fine line.
My wife is a carer for the disabled. There’s a fine line professionally between guiding “sensible” purchases and being “controlling”. An example of this, is one of the ladies she works with has Down’s and is an enormous Dr Who fan.
The lady would think nothing of dropping £100-£200 a month on memorabilia. To some, this would seem absolutely ridiculous, and that my wife should intervene and stop these compulsive purchases. She certainly would advise the lady that this was a lot of money to spend, but *ultimately” it’s the lady’s money and her choice.
Also, there are non-disabled people who make bad choices and spend hundreds of pounds a month on their hobby. Like a said, it’s a fine line.
10. Expectations were not met.
I too have knowledge of this and there’s no way he expected you to take it all. He expected you to look at it and make change. Since you didn’t, he probably thought it was the right amount.
He’s definitely on a fixed income and can’t afford an $80 tip. He’s not going to be able to order food for a while if all his money is gone.
I wouldn’t even ask him because that would require an understanding of the value of money, I would just go back and say you just realized he overpaid and here’s the change.
9. The right thing to do.
Yes, exactly this. I used to be a caregiver where clients were given weekly allowances. They would attempt to spend 3 quarters on as many donuts as possible when we went to the convenience store. When I explained that they couldn’t even get one without 2 more quarters they would break into tears, wondering why they couldn’t get an entire box of them.
This was almost every single week. It was heart breaking but eye opening.
There is a strong possibility this man has no idea how much he had given you. I would double check.
8. Always offer to make change.
No harm in checking, he could have been practicing his cranes and meant to give you one he thought was a twenty.
I think you should have unfolded it at the door and confirmed the change he was due, unless he expressly said to keep the change, and specified the amount, it would be wrong to do so without checking that’s what the customer intended.
7. You have to ask.
This seems like the most likely scenario. He probably wanted to do something nice and friendly without necessarily realizing the significance of $100 and if it may impact himself later not having that extra $80 if he had just given an origami $20 instead
But obviously no way to know without asking them.
6. Keep it upbeat and casual.
When you speak with him, just tell him that you wanted to check in and make sure he enjoyed his meal. Mention that you didn’t notice until you unfolded his super cool origami swan (or whatever) that he’d given you a hundred dollar bill. Tell him you appreciate it a lot if it was intentional, but also mention that it isn’t common/most people don’t give you that much so you wanted to make sure he meant to (because “accidents happen!”)
If he tells you he DID mean to, that’s all you can do. Express your gratitude and move on. It’s his choice, even if he doesn’t quite grasp its value. It is possible there was someone else there paying for that meal and handed the bill off to him to give to you.
Just keep it upbeat and casual. Speaking with him is the right thing to do and you’re awesome for doing it.
(If it helps any in confirming that checking in is the right thing to do, I’ll let ya know that I work with special needs kiddos. If he was there alone I will confirm for you that it is highly unlikely he knew what he was doing by giving you that much money.)
5. Cognitive ability varies.
Solid advice. I’m a caregiver for people with mental-disabilities, there is no good way for an outsider to judge if this individual can oversee the consequences of his actions.
The cognitive functions of people with Downs vary wildly and is usually very unbalanced.
I’ve been in a very similar situation where I got some groceries for a client and she told me I could keep the change, which was an absurd ammount of money.
Personally, I never would accept money from someone with a mental disability, just to be on the safe side
4. Relying on strangers.
Everyone is saying speak to the person. As someone with a family member who has Down’s Syndrome but would appear to understand this conversation and say ‘yes I did mean to give it to you’, please make sure there is someone else present when you have the conversation. There is a good chance they would absolutely not comprehend how much they had given you.
As far as my family member is concerned I asked them once what did they think cost more to buy an aeroplane or a pizza (they LOVE pizza) and they said pizza.
I can only guess that’s because it has value to them and they have no interest in aeroplanes. They would hand over a £20 to get a drink in a cafe and would not question if there any change.
We try and give them as much independence as possible but sometimes it relies on strangers doing the right thing.
3. As much as you might need the money…
I think another problem is how some mentally-different people might double down on a decision if it’s apparent that the other person feels a mistake they made was a result of their disability.
In this situation the person giving the money might say they meant to give such a generous gift when asked if it’s what they intended just to save face.
I think the right decision is to not accept the money, but instead of framing it as an accident by the person, lay the blame on a non-present third party. “My employer won’t let me accept such a large tip.”
2. Excellent advice.
I’m a server and I’ve had moments where someone will give me a 100% tip or something like that. Typically if they tip me any more than 50%, I always confirm that they meant it, usually just with a “oh wow! Are you sure?” If they did, I tell them that’s very generous and I appreciate it; if it was not intentional, I just refund the money and fix it.
It’s not unusual for someone to accidentally over tip or pay too much, this may have just been one of those situations.
I don’t think there’s any harm in asking because it’s normal for people to make mistakes, Down syndrome or not. Like others have said, he will appreciate that you asked regardless of the outcome!
1. It seems necessary.
I’d go back or contact him and say you hope he enjoyed his meal and you are very grateful he gave you a tip, folded into the pretty crane, but it was $100 bill and you wanted to see if that was a mistake, and you don’t mind, you will go back and return it if he meant to give you a different bill to pay, just say so and you’ll bring it back for him and he can give you a smaller bill.
Just btw, not specific to that he may have intellectual disabilities. He totally may just have money and be a generous tipper.
Anyone who gave me a tip like that, especially folded so it’s not obvious, who didn’t give some indication they knew they were doing it , I’d check back. That he may also have a disability would just make it feel more necessary.
I agree that simply asking the man probably would have been best – he could have taken credit for his generosity or been thankful to have much-needed cash back that way.
What’s your opinion? Share it with us in the comments!
