16 Telltale Signs a Man Is Insecure

It can be hard to judge a book by its cover – and often, first impressions are not very accurate – but in a world where we’re swiping left and forming relationships of all sorts online before we move them to real life, those judgements are being made anyway.

If you’re looking for some quick and dirty tells as far as how confident a new guy in your life might be with their masculinity, here are 16 signs people say never lie.

16. I like sheep and wolves.

In a world of sheeps and wolves. Be a shark 🙄

Sharks are winners, and they don’t look back because they have no necks. Necks are for sheep.

15. They do what it takes to make themselves look good.

That’s my “best mate” in a nutshell. If we’re with other people he’ll often put me down or point out my flaws to make himself look good. He gets jealous of peoples talent/success even for things he has no interest in. To add to your post, I’d also say they need to be the centre of attention around friends or peers.

This isn’t something that he does all the time. It’s more the way he does it as a way to look better rather than having a laugh. (Although he does do it in a jokey way too sometimes). We’ve had a lot of amazing experiences together that I wouldn’t change for anything

14. We already know you’re a dude.

Over the top displays, or almost caricatures, of masculinity. Making an effort to communicate dominance, like the sticker you described.

13. Bragging should be unnecessary.

Constantly looking for the need to brag about your wealth and physical prowess, especially on social media.

I know a few dudes who define themselves by the amount of money they’ve made or how they’re better than everyone because they practice a certain martial art.

12. You’re not lions.

The guys who have to always establish a clear hierarchy in any group they’re a part of.

The ones who’ll make fun of you (badly) and brag about themselves right after they’re introduced to you, just to establish they’re more of a man than you are in this small group of people who gathered to play some DnD, or celebrate a birthday.

And not even the outright aggressive violent ones, but rather the fake matey douchebags who do the male on male non-sexual equivalent of negging to “put you in your place”.

11. What do you say to that?

I had a friend call me recently that I hadn’t spoken to in about a year. The conversation went as follows:

Me: Oh hey man how you doing? Him: I’m doing pretty good man I invested in LiteCoin last year so I’ve just been watching my money grow like crazy.

I was so thrown off by this.

10. It’s always surprising.


True story, that last line was actually said to me.

9. Not as impressive as you might think.

Oh boy. When I moved to the Midwest, I had a dude try to brag about how he’s worked for Apple and how he has money and how he’s got his own house…. I was a 21 year old college student and he wasn’t much older. But my goodness how annoying.

I moved there from California. Specifically the bay area. And apple and Facebook and all that junk were a 20 minute drive across a bridge. I don’t care that you worked for Apple, where in front everyone works for Apple lol

8. Competition is not default manly.

Trying to dominate a conversation or activity for no reason/Being needlessly competitive.

Combined with constantly putting everyone else down. Insecure people spend far more time looking for ways to put others down, than they do building them up.

7. They don’t boost their friends.

When he’s not supportive of the other men in his life. A truly masculine man loves and supports his brothers and celebrates their achievement

An insecure man brings others down to prove he’s on “top”

6. Needing validation at all.

The only sign I can think of is going out of your way to prove that you are not insecure about your masculinity and/or yourself in general.

Secure people aren’t looking to be validated for being secure. [+]

5. They don’t call others out when they should.

One of the best things I took away from my time in a fraternity in college was this: real men support and celebrate each others’ endeavors, while having the gumption to speak up for what is right when somebody is screwing up.

4. We’re all wrong sometimes.

Always fighting to be right no matter what, even if someone obviously knows what they are talking about.

And also to contrast, someone who cannot accept your admitting of being wrong, and continues to put you down for what you’re already trying to fix.

There are exceptions of course, like if someone steals from you or breaks something very valuable being careless, but some dudes will just lay the f*ck into you over simple mistakes that can be corrected in minutes.

3. No one is buying it.

If he claims to be an “alpha male” – dude, if you have to tell people (loudly and often) that you’re alpha, you are definitely not.

I had a guy tell me he was an alpha ON THE FIRST DATE.

His fragile ego could not handle my giggle.

He might have crumbled if I had said what I was thinking, which was exactly what you posted above.

We did not have a second date…. or even finish the one we were on. lol.

2. The “one-upper.”

The “one upper.”

We had one at a job I worked years ago and I started lying to him to see what he would say. My favorite was when a new Taco Bell opened and I asked if he knew about the secret menu, specifically the “Quattro Macho Guapo Nachos.”

Apparently, yes, he had ordered them before.

1. You don’t want any of that.

People online who post cringey graphics of a lion or the joker with an equally cringe quote next to it saying something along tbe lines of “followers work for other, the alpha works for themselves” with some dollar signs next to it. Or other similar “motivational woke” posts

I have to say, I definitely think some or most of these are totally true.

What other tells would you add to the list? Drop your thoughts in the comments!