I honestly think that a majority of people do not go out to bars or other public places hoping they’ll come off as a creep. We want people to like us, or at the very least, we want people to be comfortable around us, right?
That goes for men, too, so how are so many of them getting it so wrong?
These 16 women are trying to help, doling out some observations about how dudes manage to look creepy without even trying.
16. No one likes to be trapped.
Approaching while in a car and blocking our path with said car.
Happened while I was on a walk so he could have parked, approached on foot, and maintained a respectable distance.
15. Respect the headphones.
Ahh the gym! Headphones mean do not approach!
The gym I used to go to had a women’s only cardio section but they had a man staff member monitoring it. He chatted to me one day and I replied to him. Then the next time he’d gesture for me to take out my headphones so he could talk to me, I said versions of “I’m not a morning person, I’d rather just listen to my music than talk, sorry”. But he still tried for weeks after. I straight up would get off the equipment I was using and move to another machine to get away from him.
He then said to me “I thought we were friends, I don’t understand why you won’t talk to me”. And of course the final “I should have known you’d be a bitch, girls that look like you always are. Your looks will fade you know, then you’ll just be a bitch”.
In retrospect I should have said something to the gym management but I didn’t want to get him in trouble. But I was young so instead just started doing cardio in the male and female section.
14. We’re not doing that.
3 years ago I matched with a guy on tinder and agreed to meet up with him. He suggested going to a park and when I got there it was a heavily wooded area with a trail and I stupidly followed him into the trail.
We walked around for a while, sat on some rocks, then it started getting dark and we decided to head out but we ended up getting lost and not being able to find the exit and we stumbled upon a grave sized hole in the dirt and at this point it was pitch black and I was thinking it was all a set it up and that I was going to be ambushed.
I pointed out the grave sized hole and he seemed scared too so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and stayed quiet. We finally found an exit after about an hour of stumbling in pitch black darkness. We’re still dating to this day and I’ve brought up what a horrible date plan that was, and how it came off the wrong way lol and he said he didn’t realize it at the time.
It was a total curb your enthusiasm moment (I was picked up that day so I didn’t have a car with me to back out and drive home, so that was pretty dumb of me too)
13. This would freak anyone out.
Please don’t talk to or approach a woman pumping gas, especially at night.
I’m sure the moon does look amazing but I am not interested right now.
Gas stations are creepy enough without having to make small talk with a stranger.
This goes for parking lots at night as well.
12. We are not in middle school.
Guy who I sometimes see at work, has at least 20 years on me, fucking pulled my ponytail to “say hi” one time. So shocked that I just smiled awkwardly and didn’t say anything. Like what world are you living in that you think that’s okay??
Some more details — I was able to talk to him later that day about how that wasn’t acceptable and to not do anything like it in the future. He actually took it pretty well and has been fine to work with since. In this case, since there was no escalation, and I know my boss and other coworkers have my back, I didn’t feel the need to do anything further. While some people have good intentions and don’t know their behavior is out of line–those actions still cause hurt.
Personally, as long as the person is able to acknowledge that hurt and do better moving forward, I’m good with them. Malicious predators are a different story. It can be hard to tell the difference in some situations.
Y’all be careful out there.
11. Seriously just stop.
The only things they say to you (even if not inappropriate) are s*xually charged or are inappropriate…
10. Don’t be demanding.
It’s not frightening, per se, but it definitely makes me wary because it could lead to situations that are frightening…
When talking to a guy, he’s super pushy. Like, asking for pics of this and that (and that) and even saying no, they’re stilly pushy… all that makes me do is not want to meet him. If he’s THIS pushy via text/messaging, how pushy is he going to be in person? If he can’t take no NOW, what are the odds he can take no in person?
I once had a guy DEMAND that I rank my s*xual partners. I told him no. I told him “I can’t and I won’t.”
Dude flew off the digital handle.
I blocked him right then.
9. It’s a whole sentence.
Demanding justification for every no, and when it’s given, arguing about how my reasons aren’t valid.
I had one of my coworkers ask me if I wanted to grab a drink after work, I politely declined and he kept asking why. I eventually explained “I want to keep my work and private life separate” and he kept telling me that was silly and that he didn’t understand. I eventually just told him to stop and walked away because he wouldn’t shut up about it.
Later the same guy also asked me if I was going to this work party and when I said no, he said “come on, I’ll even drive you home so you can drink!”
Uhh, no thanks.
8. Why do you need to know?
Asking personal questions that have nothing to do with why you are communicating in the first place. Example: getting my muffler welded and being asked by the welder “where do you live?
How long have you lived there? Do you have roommates or is it just you?”
And about thirty more personal and invasive questions.
7. It never ends well.
It escalated to stalking, harassment, and assault. Three months of hell and it cost me so much money. Fuck HR and fuck men who don’t take “no” for an answer.
“You work too much, you need to lighten up.”
“Just one drink… Just come out with us… Loosen up, you need a life outside of work…”
It always starts small and annoying.
t almost never ends that way.
6. All of this.
Telling me things they would do to me if I didn’t have a husband.
Being out somewhere and them not letting me leave, not taking no for an answer, telling me that they drive by my home to see if I’m there.
5. Two steps back.
Invading my space.
I used a massage chair a few weeks ago at the gym, and it’s one of the newer models that will lift you and bring you to a reclined position about three feet off the ground (I’m 5’1 so for some that may not seem too high, but for me it’s pretty elevated feeling.
There was this man who walked into the room, kept looking at me, and tapped me to ask me my name and tell me I was “pretty.” I had headphones in, my eyes were shut, and I CLEARLY was not wanting to engage with anyone.
Flashed him my engagement ring (my fiancé wasn’t at the gym at the time) and told him my fiancé was coming to join me. Never saw a man book it so hard.
It’s so frustrating that no matter who CLEAR you are trying to make the fact you are a woman who is not interested in talking to people it’s not respected. Until you insinuate a more masculine partner is present.
May have been intentional there, but I feel like a lot of times invasion of space can be unintentional.
4. Big red flags.
Obviously can’t speak for all women but we generally don’t have a fantasy of “belonging” to someone in a controlling sense.
A lot of men can be pretty controlling without even knowing it.
3. You shouldn’t have to say anything.
when they emphasize that i DONT need to be frightened of them completely unprompted. no easier way of getting me to be on my guard
I had one of these guys, he “opened” the train door for me to get off (it opens automatically) and so I said “thanks”. Apparently he took that as an invitation, because he then followed me through the station trying to talk to me. I was polite but dismissive. He was creeping me out so I stopped to top up my metro card even though I didn’t need to. He stopped and waited for me. I pretended I didn’t see him.
He then followed me out of the station asking me where I lived (I lied) and then asked me if I had a boyfriend (I said yes). He then asked if I had Facebook (I didn’t answer) and then asked me if my boyfriend had my Facebook password?? He then told me “you don’t need to be scared of me, I just want to be friends.”
By this stage I was fully freaked and was texting my boyfriend about it. I didn’t want to go to my bus stop in case he followed me home, so I walked to the most populated street I could find, still ignoring him while he followed me. Eventually I went into a supermarket and thankfully lost him.
I have never spoken to a man on a train or at a station ever again. I don’t even make eye contact.
2. Get a clue.
Standing too close.
How do you know if it’s too close? I’ll back up half a step, DON’T match it.
1. Don’t do any of this.
This dude used to come into The restaurant I was waitressing at and would wear this “Cum & Go” shirt and would offer to buy a bunch of underage girls shots.
He didn’t realize he was creepy, you could tell by the way he paraded his friends around with his boom box and play loud ass music on the patio of the restaurant. Apparently he was a rich prick who donated money to the restaurant all the time.
After I left, I heard a story that he fixated on one of the waitresses that was nice to him, and he would follow her around and to her car. He even bought her a s**t ton of expensive presents for Christmas which she refused.
These are so true and I’m a bit worried that so many guys can’t see if for themselves.
What else would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments!