I don’t care who you are, if you are a human being who does not live in a bubble, you have hurt yourself doing something stupid. You’ve grabbed something that was hot, you’ve dared use a mandolin, you’ve tripped, you’ve fallen, and on and on and on.
Me? I ran straight into a centerfield fence playing softball – during warmups – and needed stitches in my knee.
Below, 10 other people are confessing to the pure, clumsy idiocy that goes part and parcel with being a human.
Ain’t it grand?
10. This one takes the cake.
Or the bacon, as it were.
Brushed off some frost off some bacon and then subsequently slipped on the melted ice and broke my elbow, a week before my wedding. Fortunately did not need a cast but had a sling to wear on and off and couldn’t keep my arm totally straight for wedding pics.
— Steve Silver (@SteveTSRA) March 21, 2021
9. I’m gonna go ahead and say it was worth it.
I mean. It’s cake.
Cracked a tooth biting into a king cake baby
— MarkRH (@MarkRH) March 21, 2021
8. I can see how this would happen.
You gotta check behind you, yeah?
My only stitches came when I ran head first into a brick wall playing tag.
— Jane Coaston (@janecoaston) March 21, 2021
7. There’s no good part of this story.
Talk about making the car buying process worse.
Was going over paperwork at a car dealership. My daughter (around 3 years old) was sitting on my lap. She grabbed a paper and threw her arm up jabbing the corner of the paper into my eye and slicing my cornea. Somehow I didn’t drop an F bomb.
— Rob Ostrom (@RobOstrom) March 21, 2021
6. You’ve gotta go hard at practice.
But perhaps not this hard.
I once broke a finger while trying to lay down a bunt…,at a batting cage
— Matt Brown (@MattBrownEP) March 21, 2021
5. It would only happen to a Lion’s fan.
Oh come on, you know I’m right.
at the lions-packers thursday night football game i was skipping to the bathroom because i was excited we were winning at halftime, tripped, ran into the bathroom wall and got a concussion and then aaron rodgers threw a hail mary a couple hours later…
— Michigan Football Analytics (@mfbanalytics) March 21, 2021
4. I hope it’s all ok now.
If not, this really isn’t a happy story.
Broke my index finger. Doc splinted & wrapped it. I heard him tell me to come back in 3 months. I heard wrong. He said 3 weeks. Unwrapped it & it had calcified straight so I was always pointing. Got drunk at a show that night & my friend “rebroke” it for me on stage on mic.
— Paul Bae (@MrPaulBae) March 21, 2021
3. I have questions.
Sadly, we’re never going to know more.
Got a concussion packing up a crockpot to move
— Kelly Ward (@kellynnward) March 21, 2021
2. This is almost impressive.
Unless it happened to you.
I strained my leg sleeping.
Sleeping.
My running from zombies nightmares get intense apparently.
— El Oso (@ElOsoMelendez) March 21, 2021
1. Be careful with that candy.
It’s going to send you to the dentist one way or another.
I chipped a molar the same way biting into a Tootsie Pop. Just like the owl in the commercials, I just could not wait to get to that Tootsie Roll center.
— Brenton Mincemoyer (@Brentonsmince) March 22, 2021
These stories make me feel a bit better about my own, to be honest.
What’s your story? Share it with us in the comments!
