I know that all of the best AITA posts really bring the drama. Things go back and forth, you’re on one person’s side and then another, but for me, by the time it’s the end and I render my judgment, I’m pretty firm.
This one is a doozy, though, and personally, I had to remember the question she was asking before I decided whether she was an a$$hole in this particular circumstance.
Girlfriend and her husband have been married a few years, all of which they’ve spent estranged from OP’s mother-in-law. They had a falling out because the couple decided they were only giving plus-ones to people in “serious” relationships and refused to make an exception for the mother of the groom.
In a comment, OP admitted that her MIL had requested the exception because she felt she would be “humiliated” to be there alone while her ex brought his new girlfriend/wife.
They held firm, the mother-in-law did not attend the wedding (for long), and they have not been in contact since.
MIL and I used to have an ok relationship. We weren’t close but she was always nice to me. When we got married three years ago we only have plus ones to people on serious relationships, which she was not.
She fought with me about the plus ones for months leading up to the wedding, and then lost her mind the day of the wedding. I know she showed up at some point because I saw her but she left either before or right after the ceremony and cut all contact with us.
Apparently she had some sort of breakdown and cried for days and feels I’m responsible.
OP has since had a baby and let her MIL know that she was open to reestablishing contact and fostering a relationship between the baby and grandma, but heard nothing.
She totally severed contact. We haven’t reached out because we feel it is her issue but when I had my baby last March I did have family communicate that she has an open invitation if she would like to meet her grandchild and I never heard back.
I feel like it’s her loss/issue but I know it bothers her mom.
Then her mother-in-law’s mother – her husband’s grandmother – came to OP and said that MIL wanted to mend fences and invited OP to her own wedding, but was too nervous to call with the invitation herself.
OP and the grandmother drove together to the event.
Recently my husbands grandmother told us that MIL was getting married and wanted us there with the baby. She said MIL was nervous to reach out and had asked her to.
I decided a wedding wasn’t a good first meeting for a baby but agreed to go. It was about a two hour drive and I drove because his grandmother doesn’t like to drive.
Surprise, surprise, the bride did not want OP there are all, apologized for her mother’s interference, and asked OP to leave.
When we got there MIL came down and the minute she saw me the whole mood changed and she demanded to know why I was there.
I explained that I thought I was invited and she said I wasn’t, apologized for her moms lie but asked me to leave. His grandmother began to get emotional and demand that we talk it out because MIL needs a relationship with her son and grandchild.
MIL just left and locked her mom out of the room she was getting ready in.
The grandmother wanted OP to wait somewhere else and drive her home after the wedding but OP left, meaning grandma had to catch a ride back in an “horrible position.”
Which, welcome to the club, I guess.
I was hurt and embarrassed and left. His demanded I stay and find somewhere to hang out so I can drive her but we refused. She is afraid of Uber and ended up having to drive back with her ex husband and his new much younger wife who she is extremely uncomfortable around.
She called me in tears and told me how I put her in a horrible position.
Now, she just wants to know if she’s the jerk for leaving grandma there to find her own way home – but I don’t think the AITA readers are going to be able to restrain themselves from the rest of the story, do you?
The top comment admits OP is NTA in this scenario, but is definitely questioning the choices she made that put her in this position to begin with.
It definitely seems odd she would think a wedding would be a good place for a chat and mending fences – the same could apply to the grandma, though, too.
Most people are stuck on the fact that OP has never apologized for what went down at her own wedding.
She might not the be person in the wrong here, but that doesn’t mean all of this isn’t her (and her husband’s) fault.
Isn’t it ironic…
Basically, everyone sucks here, but the mother-in-law…we feel sorry for her.
OP and her husband kind of seem like jerks to me, and are now lording her grandchild over her.
Am I off base? Is Reddit? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!