He Told His Friend to “Man Up” or Not Come To His Wedding. Did He Go Too Far?

Has anyone ever told you to “man up”?

Yeah, I feel like that can go one of two ways…

And this time it seems like it didn’t go well!

But was this guy out of line?

Read his story below and see what you think.

AITA for telling my friend to “man up” or not to come to my wedding?

“Context: Me (31M) and Taylor (30M) have been best friends since forever. We were school buddies, college friends, my parents love him, we’ve vacationed together many times. Taylor is a very affectionate person, kind, thoughtful guy.

Three years ago me and Anne (31F) started dating, and now I’m pretty sure she’s the love of my life. Brilliant woman all around. We’re getting married next January.

The Conflict: After a long and thoughtful conversation, my fiance voiced her concerns about inviting Taylor to our wedding. Basically, she had two main reasons for asking him that: 1. Dress Code: Taylor is a 30 year old punk. He wore a dress to our prom. You know , that kind of guy. 2. Taylor is dating a guy. Which is NOT the problem. But his partner is also very flamboyant.

Anne wants a very minimalist, quiet, calm, wedding, because she struggles with anxiety and ADHD. So, that was her request.

I talked to Taylor the next day, and I told him about Anne’s concerns. Tay said “do you think I’m gonna show up in a white dress?” and laugh about it, but I told him he needed to promise he would respect the dress code. Black tuxedo for the guys… that was the code.

I got a little caught in the moment so maybe I was harsher than I should’ve been. I told him to ‘man up’ and to ‘act his age’. I said some stupid stuff like ‘people laugh about you, you want to be a joke?’.

He said “Sure, no problem” and the next day he declined the online invitation. He keeps telling me “we’re good” and everything is okay, but the situation it’s bothering me.

I love Tay, but I know he can be difficult. My group chat with my family is burning because they don’t understand why he will not be there, and our friends’ group chat is dead since the news dropped.


Here’s what Reddit users had to say.

This person said he’s an a**hole and this could have been a much easier conversation.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this individual agreed and said this guy blew it.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user also said he is an a**hole and that his fiancée didn’t really do anything wrong.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think?

Let us know in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!