How Young Is Too Young To Attend A Child-Free Wedding?

Child-free weddings are getting more and more popular these days, because the bride and groom are the ones who get to decide who attends their special day, and sometimes people would rather not deal with loud and/or misbehaving children at what’s typically a pretty adult party.

I think that the majority of parents understand those things, and even if child care can be a pain, are willing to make arrangements ahead of time.

This story is a little bit different, though, because when the original wedding invitation came it was addressed to the entire family of 6, and there was no mention of the wedding being child-free.

The wedding was in a different country so arrangements included plane tickets for everyone, hotel rooms, etc.

I’m still shocked this whole thing happened, but I want to hear some outside perspectives… so here I am.

I have 4 kids (11, 14, 16 and 19). A while ago, we all received an invitation for my sister’s wedding. That’s me, my husband, and all 4 of my kids.

Her wedding was in a different country but it was at a good time so we could all go. We booked everything and were all ready to go.

Well, once the family arrived (the wedding was for OP’s sister) they were informed that no children would be invited after all. OP was honestly more understanding than I would have been and managed to make arrangements for her three youngest children the day of the event.

We got there a bit of time before the wedding. Quite literally a few days before the wedding, I was informed it was going to be a child-free wedding. Look, I have no issue with child free weddings.

But, I was a bit a frustrated. I mean, if I had known it was going to be child-free, then arrangements could’ve been made so that we all didn’t have to travel. We were all invited, so I was just annoyed that things were switched up.

But, I can also understand that weddings can be stressful and sometimes things are going to change. I spent quite a bit of time trying to find a place for my three youngest to stay during the wedding, but I sorted it all out eventually.

OP, her husband, and their 19yo child arrived at the wedding, where the bride was surprised – not in a good way – to see their oldest niece/nephew and proceeded to largely ignore the family for the duration of the event.

Okay, it was wedding day, no more changes had been made, everything was good. We were on our way when I got a message that my sister was excited to see ‘you two’. I was a bit confused, because, of course, three of us were going.

I just decided it was probably an error and didn’t worry. We got there, and my sister seemed very surprised to see my oldest. And not a nice ‘surprised’ either, a pretty condescending ‘surprised’.

But, again, it’s her wedding day, she’s probably nervous, I’ll let it go. During the wedding, I couldn’t help but feel she was ignoring us…

I don’t know, if none of this ever happened I wouldn’t even care because, again, it’s her wedding and she doesnt have to pay equal attention to everyone. But with everything else, it just felt weird.

After the wedding the bride confronted her sister about ignoring the “child-free” part of the wedding and said OP owes her an apology for bringing their 19yo the event.

After the wedding, she sent me a message that it was nice to see me there, but she would’ve appreciated if I had respected the ‘child-free part’.

I replied saying i was so happy for her and enjoyed every second of the wedding, and I thought I had respected it but if there was a miscommunication I was very sorry.

She told me that there was no miscommunication, that I had disrespected her and I should apologize. I basically reiterated what I had already said, and didn’t apologize.

AITA?

OP doesn’t agree, and so she’s asking Reddit – how young is too young to be considered included in a child-free wedding?

A lot of people thought the bride should have been more specific as to what constitutes a “child,” but in most countries, even a 16yo would be allowed at a wedding.