There is not a relationship in the world that hasn’t – or won’t – experience some rough waters now and again (if it’s going to last any amount of time, that is), but sometimes circumstances can make navigating them extra hard.
This OP used to be a s*x worker, and though she says it’s not a choice she hoped to make, she’s also not embarrassed about supporting herself during a time in her life when she had no help.
I (27F) used to be an ”escort” (h*oker) from 18 until I was 23, I’m not proud of it but I also don’t give a f**k because I did what I had to do to keep studying and a roof over my head.
That’s how I met my now fiancé (37M) tho he was never my client.
After she started dating her now fiancee (two years post-escort life), her brother-in-law somehow found out what she used to do for a living and “outed” her to the family.
She and her fiance presented a united front, saying that he knew and they were both fine with it.
We began to date when I was 25 and three or four months after that his BIL ”exposed me” (no idea how he found out) because there’s no way my fiancé knew and thus we had to come clean in front of his whole family.
Yes I did that. Yes he knows. No he doesn’t care.
It was 2 years ago (at that time), we got over it.
The family acted strange for awhile but at the time they’d gotten engaged, most of the weirdness had blown over.
After that there was a span of 3-4 months in were my MIL and some of my fiancés aunts and cousin ”police” their husband when I was around, it was really weird tbh because this dudes were like 40-60yo and I wasn’t that desperate, so my fiancé shut their bulls**t hard and even when his family still gives me the side eye from time to time, we thought it was behind us.
Even after they announced their pregnancy, the family seemed to get on board (after at least one really inappropriate conversation with her mother-in-law.
He proposed last year and five months ago we found out that I was pregnant, we were really happy about it and we told his family as soon as we knew.
His sisters and young brother were happy for us, but his mom took me aside and begged me to be honest with her and asked if this was really my fiancés child, I was taken aback but I just rolled my eyes and said yes, she gave me some sh*%ty speech about how ”she only wanted to make sure” and that ”she was happy to be a grandmother”.
That is, until her father-in-law made a really awful comment that basically amounted to s*xually harassing his daughter-in-law…and everyone else in the room laughed at the “joke.”
Well, last weekend we were at his parents with his family and some of his friends and we were talking about the name, how he might look (small talk, we will love him regardless but there’s always some ”Oh I hope he gets your nose!” ”mmh I like your eyes, I hope he gets them” comments).
Then my FIL said that he and his children have a birthmark in the inner thigh and that even his grandchildren (one of my SIL’s kids) got them, so our baby might too, and then he said ”But how can we know from who he got it? it may as well be from me, my boy or my brothers” and he and his brothers began to laugh.
OP insisted, over and over again, that he explain why it was supposed to be funny because she “didn’t get it,” and eventually he walked off in a huff.
My fiancé got mad and before he could say anything I said ”I don’t get it” and my FIL was ”yeah because it runs in the family” and I said again ”I don’t get it, why would he get it from you?” and he began to get nervous and said ”because you know… it’s just a joke OP.”
I said ”but I don’t get it and you all laughed, explain” it got to the point that some of his friends said ”hey, it’s not funny” so he he excused himself and left.
Some people think she was wrong to embarrass him in front of his friends and family in his own house, but OP isn’t sure that should matter.
Later my fiancé’s BIL came to me and said that I was wrong for embarrassing him like that in his own house and that I knew what the joke was about and because of my past, I shouldn’t be surprised.
Now they’re all demanding that I apologize to my FIL.
I have a feeling Reddit is going to be on her side!
The top comment thought OP should have pushed back even harder.
Other commenters absolutely loved her approach and found it super effective. 2
Seriously it’s a tried and true method that works on jerks of all kinds.
This part is just a bonus.
We all kind of want to know what the husband said about it later, to be honest.
I hate that there are people out there who think it’s ok to shame people over their s*xual history and choices, but apparently it’s still a thing.
Do you think she handled this well, or would you have liked to have seen her be more direct? Tell us which and why in the comments!