Is This Person Wrong for Refusing to Change Their Last Name? People Responded.

What’s in a name, really?

Well, to some people, it’s an incredibly important part of their identity…so you can see why they wouldn’t exactly be thrilled at the prospect of changing theirs…

Take a look at this story and see if you think this person is wrong for refusing to change their last name.

AITA for refusing to change my last name?

“My mother passed away before I was ten. My uncle (mother’s elder brother) took me in and raised me because my father by then had already started a new life and a new family.

My uncle treated me very well, though I’m not sure if my aunt feels the same about me as he did. My uncle and aunt had an only son who’s around my age, and what he had I had it too. For example, if my uncle got cousin a laptop he would get me one too, and they would be the same worth. My uncle even got me a car for my 18th birthday. My cousin also treated me just like his own brother.

Needless to say, I am very grateful to have them in my life. Everything I have and that I am, is owed to them.

However, my relationship with my uncle has hit a slight snag recently.

In my culture, it’s usually the parents who will help with purchasing a home for their sons when they get married. The reason is because people in my culture tend to marry young, but most of the time we would not have worked long enough to save up enough for even the down payment. For a man not to have a marital home is considered a disadvantage and the women’s family may not accept the proposed union. So a man having a marital home is very important.

In my case, because my mother has passed away and my father is an absent parent, my uncle and aunt are my de-facto parents. Indeed, my uncle said he would buy me a marital home. However, he has set a condition for that – I have to change my last name to his.

Last names are a big deal in my culture so this is not something that is taken lightly. My uncle said since he’s been like a father to me rather than my own father, and also as a rememberance to my mother, I should change my last name to his (which is also my mother’s). So basically, no change in last name = no marital home.

I expressed to him that this is an unfair demand because like I said, last names are a huge deal in my culture and a change could trigger uncomfortable questions from people. But my uncle insisted that if I refuse to change my last name I would have to buy the marital home on my own, which is impossible because I’m a fresh grad and it could take me YEARS to even save up for the down payment. This could seriously set me back in terms of a romantic relationship and future marriage. Because of our disagreement, things between my uncle and I have become awkward.

So far, my aunt and cousin have not said anything to me, but a group of close friends whom I have confided to told me I’m the AH.

I’m surprised by their reaction, because other than this I had never gone against my uncle. I am also very thankful to my uncle and what he had done for me, and I would gladly take up the responsibility alongside my cousin to take care of him in his old age. It is just that I really don’t think I should be forced into making a fundamental identity change and be punished for not doing it. AITA?