#16. Grenade?
“Here is a list of things I’ve removed from people’s rectums:
-A 750 mL wine bottle, empty.
-Jar of Pace Picante Sauce, half full.
-Grenade
-Nerf football
-Quick drying concrete
-Hot wheels
-Dildos, dildos, dildos
-A smorgasbord of various vegetables and fruit.
-Tennis ball
-Hamster
-Barbie doll
-Cell phone
-Several pistols
-Pounds of cocaine and heroin
-And my personal favorite: a Nike Pegasus running shoe”
#17. A collection of gross
“My grandmother was a nurse:
Before Roe v Wade, women used to come in all the time butchered up and bleeding. From coat hangers, too.
A guy with diabetic gangrene on his legs started seizing. She held a leg, and it came off in her hands.
She helped deliver a 15-month-old fetus – in pieces.
A homeless woman with maggots coming out of her vageeze.”
#18. Insanity, volume 2
“Guy comes in to the ER and demands to be seen but refuses to tell anyone why.
No one would take him in the back until he did.
So, he douses himself with lighter fluid and lights himself on fire.”
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