You gotta be quick on the draw, if you know what I’m sayin’…
Because folks are quick to insult others these days and if you have a comeback or two in your arsenal, you can turn it around on those cruel people.
So keep these comebacks in mind next time someone talks s**t to you!
Go ahead and be smug about it.
“I always respond “I’ve been called worse” and continue with my day.
If I’m feeling smug I’ll add ” By better people.””
“”Of course you are.”
“Of course you would.”
“Of course you did.”
It takes them a while to detect the mockery. Or they never do. Of course they don’t.”
“Hold a stare and blank face for at least 3 seconds, and then ask in a concerning tone, “are you okay?””
Make ’em go crazy.
“”Well, I guess what everyone says about you is true.”
My Dad told me to say this, and the typical b**ly type will generally go crazy thinking everyone talks about them behind their back.”
That’ll show ’em.
“I found out just asking “Why?” And putting them in a position to explain their insult which didn’t have much thought behind it works well.”
“Pull my earbuds out with a confused expression and ask “What?”
I’ve done that before, it worked really well. Then if they repeat it, I just say “Yeah…no thanks” and put in my earbud again.
The fact that the response has no relation to what they just said, is dismissive and implies I didn’t care enough to even listen properly, and it makes out like they just offered me something. It generally confuses them enough that they disengage.”
Keep it going.
“Them “you’re a dumba**”
You “I’m sorry I missed that, what did you say?”
Them “you’re a dumba**”
You “A what? Can you please speak more clearly”
Them “YOU’RE A DUMBA**”
You “I really can’t understand you. One more time please”
Them “YOU ARE A F**KING DUMBA**! ”
You ” I did what now? ”
I could do this for a very long time.”
“Big fan of the pause for a beat, d*dpan, and then some variation/combo of “you done?” “Feel better now?” “Got that outta your system?”
Just that pause and little bit of patronizing tone while dismissing the childlike behavior usually does more to the ego than a counter insult.”
“I’m a woman and my job basically boils down to arguing with attorneys who are mostly men with huge egos and a large helping of disdain for people they deem “beneath them”.
It’s common for them to get pushy, loud, and insulting when they’re not getting their way. That was intimidating at first, but now I look forward to it because it gives me an opportunity to use my favorite line: “It sounds like you’re getting a little emotional about this; do you want to call me back when you’ve calmed down so we can get this done?”
This is always met with a delicious pause, followed by them either hanging up or launching into the most high pitched screeching you’ve ever heard. Being called emotional by a woman who is perfectly calm breaks something in them and it’s my favorite thing.”
Basically takes all the wind out of their sails.
They want to get a rise out of you and responding like this doesn’t give them the satisfaction.”
“Stick your finger in your mouth/cheek and pull it forward and out, so that it makes a popping noise.
There aren’t many people who wouldnt be speechless after witnessing that during a conversation/argument.”
What’s your favorite comeback?
Let us know in the comments.
Thanks a lot!