People Share the Smallest Crimes They Think Folks Can Commit

It’s time for some small-time crime…

Because AskReddit users wracked their brains and came up with the smallest crimes they think a person can commit.

Y’all ready for this?

Let’s get started!


“I’m a domestic v**lene prosecutor.

Currently prosecuting someone for sending a text message of a single question mark to his ex when there was a restraining order in place.”

When you gotta go…

“Public urination.

Especially if you’re discreet and peeing on something that isn’t owned by someone else.

If you’re whipping it out in a public park and pi**ing on the grass in front of all the kids you need an a** whoopin’ and some jail time.”


“When driving on a highway, seeing a single frame of a movie someone is playing in their house, thus “stealing” from the streaming service provider by not paying for the subscription.”

Total anarchy.

“I don’t pay for plastic bags at the self checkout.

And even sometimes steal lemons or onions when they don’t scan.


Watch it!

“There are thousands of places where an American or a Canadian can illegally take a step or two into the other country without going through passport control.”


“Doggy style was banned in South Africa.

Our Minister of Health says it causes strokes and cancer.”


“Downloading a virtual copy of a movie when you legally own a physical copy of the same movie in the same resolution.”

Double whammy.

“Wearing 1/10th of a tan suit.

It’s a fashion crime and… Indecent exposure apparently. 🤷‍♂️”

All about intimidation.

“Take the coins from the change bin on a soda machine that someone forgot.

Or up the antye and take the free pennies from the registers at gas stations.

Make full eye contact with the cashier.”

Don’t even think about it.

“It is illegal to milk another person’s cow in Texas.

The Texas Penal Code states that doing so results in a fine of no more than $10.

This should be re-MOOved from the books!”

Sounds very German.

“In Germany, driving around aimlessly.

If you are on the road, you are legally required to have a purpose beyond just the driving itself.

Also, nobody ever cared.”


“Taking the salad dressing packet that costs .65 at the store for the salad you bought that does not include dressing and cost 7.99.”


“Collecting rainwater

Some states / counties have a restriction on how much rainwater you can collect.”

Light it up!

“In Ohio, medical cannabis is legal but it is illegal to smoke cannabis.

Legally, it can only be vaped or ingested (edibles).

So, my answer is s**king a joint of legally obtained cannabis on my couch.”

It’s still the law.

“Ice cream in your back pocket.

Apparently it’s a thing from “ye en olden dayes” of Alabama, when horse thieves would use ice cream cones to lead away horses.

It’s still a law, though.”

What do you think about this?

Let us know in the comments.

Thanks a lot!