I think it’s probably a maturity thing, but as I’ve gotten older, I find that it’s so much more satisfying to be nice to people day in and day out…even if they act like total jerks to me…
You should try it, too!
Why do you choose kindness even when you don’t get it back?
Here’s what AskReddit users said.
1. Spread the joy.
“I never know what goes on in others’ life.
Sometimes the little things like saying “excuse me” and “thank you” while shopping goes along way for some people.
Plus why would I waste my own time being an a**hole? I’d rather be nice and spread that joy to others.”
2. Never hurts.
“It just never hurts to be nice.
You don’t know what people go through or how long it’s been since someone said something or did nice for someone, so I do my part to reset the clock on that.
I remember holding the door for a guy one time when he was like 20 feet behind me, and he was so appreciative that someone did something for him that sounded like he was about to tear up.
You just never know, so why not be a good person?”
““Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always”
4. Doesn’t feel good.
“Being unkind makes me feel very guilty immediately.
Even if they “deserved” it, I just feel kind of angry or upset after, never better.”
5. Doesn’t make sense.
“I genuinely don’t get how you can just be mean or rude to people for no reason other than “I don’t have to be nice”.
Like doesn’t that weigh on you? Make you feel bad?”
“Because I could be the other person.
Today you, tomorrow me.”
7. This is good.
“The world is often s**tty and people are often selfish.
So I’m relentlessly positive and friendly even when others abuse it.
I’m not letting s**tty people gaslight me into being like them.”
8. Suit of armor.
“It’s like armor in a way, if you refuse to be annoyed.
The people that are s**tty to you on purpose are also more annoyed when you just ignore it and continue to be pleasant.
When they escalate it to get a rise out of you, they look like even more of a d**k to everyone.”
9. Don’t let them win.
“I avoided being b**lied by being nice and funny.
It was my defense mechanism for scary situations. For the most part I wanted to be left alone with my small group of friends, and diffusing situations by being pleasant seemed to work.
A**holes love a good fight, don’t give it to them.”
10. Very true.
“Life is HARD. People go through s**t.
Also, having less empathy is often genetic, neurological, mental health, and gut bacteria related. (There should be consequences for hurtful behavior and actions, but people themselves are a f**king mess of complications). I don’t need people to be kind to me, because I have a lot of beauty in my life.
I want everyone else to enjoy the beauty in their lives, too, even with the struggles. I want them to thrive alongside the pain. I want them to be as happy and well as possible. I don’t want anyone to be stuck in suffering because life is short, and the reasons you may be a d**k are complex.
Your life is happening right now. It’s passing by. What beauty is passing by that you just don’t see? Can I make your path a bit more beautiful with a little kindness?”
“Being a dwarf, I get a lot of s**t from people: shouting on the street, pointing, people filming me and taking photos of me, asking me invasive questions, generally making rude statements about me or expressing weird assumptions.
It gets tiring and sometimes downright upsetting, for sure, but I never want to let that feed into how I interact with people in general. As soon as I am a d**k to someone preemptively, without cause, I have just ruined an opportunity to have a positive new connection in my life.
People can and will often surprise you, and even people who may seem ignorant or rude at first can change dramatically if I don’t just shut them down from the offset.
There is a line, of course. If someone is a complete unapologetic a**hole – f**k them. I’m not against standing up for myself and I have had to cut ties with people before, but in milder situations, people have the capacity to change and it’s kind of wasted potential to not encourage that, whether it is through empathy or kindness.
I used to let all of this get to me. I would be so angry and miserable, every day. I h**ed everyone. But eventually, I realised that empathising with people is a win for both parties: understanding where a person is coming from (not excusing it, but understanding it) made me less angry, and in turn allowed for them to not get defensive or aggressive like they would if they were just pegged as a monster.
Eventually, empathy just became easier. It made me happier, and it took less of a toll on my mindset.”
How about you?
Talk to us in the comments.
Thanks a lot!