People Who Are Against One Night Stands Share Why They Feel That Way

To each their own, right?

Some people think a roll in the hay with someone is no big deal, while other folks have some pretty strong feelings about why they’re against the idea of a one-night stand.

Let’s hear from AskReddit users about this topic.

Take a look!


“It’s been over 10 years since I’ve been around the dating scene and I still just can’t bring myself around to having a quick fling.

I’m really picky with the girls I’d sleep with which makes it much more difficult to find someone to be intimate with. For those who might wonder how someone could go so long without intimacy,

I caught a real bad case of clinical depression after I blew my arm out from firefighting that somehow snowballed into clinical resistant depression. It’s impossible to bring a decent person into my life knowing I can’t be the person that I need to be to attract the right kind of gal… it’s a nightmare.”


“The worst shags I’ve ever had have all been one night stands.

S** with a specific partner is just better. You know what you’re doing, they know what they’re doing, and you can easily reach mutual satisfaction.

When it comes to rougher stuff or kinky things, there’s established knowledge of what’s going to get your partner off better, so they’re going to try get you off better along with what is and isn’t okay.

Not everyone likes the same stuff, so I tend to find casual s** to be boring.”

No connection.

“I like to feel a connection with the person I’m having s** with, not just do it for the sake of getting off.

I tried it once in college. H**ed how I felt after. After college I fooled around with some casual friends a few times and that felt more enjoyable because I knew them and liked them as people there was some actual attraction there.

I think a lot of it for me is feeling safe – I didn’t feel a sense of safety and trust with the person I had a “hook up” with.”

This takes time.

“I already need an eternity to be myself around new people.

By the time I would be comfortable enough to get n***d and do the horizontal flamenco, it would already be considered a relationship.”

Too much anxiety.

“My anxiety is way too strong to do anything like a one night stand.

I would almost definitely have an anxiety attack if someone I didn’t know started trying to do horny on me.”

A lonely feeling.

“I don’t like the feeling of someone who doesn’t even know what my favorite color is or last name having seen my g**itals.

It always seems fun leading up but it feels so strange and lonely the day after.”

Seems gross.

“I don’t like the idea of being so intimate with someone and then never seeing them again.

The idea of sleeping with someone I have no emotional connection with just seems so gross to me.”

Need to know them.

“I’m married now, but when I was single I never did ONS because I just don’t feel any s**ual attraction to someone I don’t know.

I need to have some connection and I can’t feel that without time. I can look at someone and think “they’re objectively attractive” but no s**ual desire.”

Not interested.

“The risks outweigh the benefits for me.

A one night stand doesn’t always guarantee fun, so it’s not even a 100% there. Also, the added risk of STD, unwanted pregnancies.

The person can be a creep, criminal who may decide to k**l/harm/stalk. The person can also be just weird. It may be fun for a second but these maybes listed above can ruin someone’s life.

Hence, not interested.”

Juice ain’t worth the squeeze

“When I was younger, I asked several of my close friends why they did one-night stands. Nobody was able to sell me on it.

For the most part, they didn’t even try. From their descriptions, it sounded like once in a while it scratched an itch that needs scratching, and other than that it just sucked.

Usually disappointing, occasionally dangerous, generally left people feeling worse-off, especially cumulatively. Always gave me the impression that it was more of a compulsion than anything that anyone was consciously choosing to make their lives better.

So easier just to draw a line in the sand and preemptively decide against them, in my view.

On a more personal level, my feeling about s** is that feelings always get involved, intentionally or not. But other people might be different that way.”

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