Religious extremism has always frightened me.
I’m all for people having their beliefs and worshipping the way they want to, but when those beliefs become extreme and it starts to affect the folks around you, that’s when there’s a problem.
And it seems like more people than you probably think actually grew up this way.
Let’s take a look at some interesting stories from folks on AskReddit.
1. Out the door.
“Let the beatings commence.
Spanked, paddled, whipped, and beaten for minor offenses.
That’s why I joined the military to get away from that nonsense.”
2. In retrospect…
“Terrifying in retrospect, but I didn’t realize it at the time.
You just start to think that all the bullsh*t that’s going on around you is normal, and then when you start meeting people in the real world outside of the religious bubble you slowly start realizing how f*cked up everything was.”
3. Cult-like.
“Grew up in a non-denominational Christian Church. The resemblance it had to a cult didn’t really dawn on me til I was older, probably 14-16.
My parents were the stereotypical helicopter parents- watched our every move, put screen mirroring apps on the very first cell phone we were ever given at age 16, shaming the hell out of us for what they would find on our phones talking to our secret girlfriends, etc.
Our church was full of families with 7+ children, the largest family having 12 kids and single mom (the dad was in jail for molesting some of the eldest girls). Out of a population of about 5-600, me and my sister were the only kids enrolled in public school, because mom was a school teacher. As a teenager, life was absolutely miserable.
Around the age of 14 I decided I hated Christianity and the absolute perversion and abuse of power this church was capable of inflicting upon me. One suicide attempt and psych ward trip later, around the age of 16, I decided I was done with the church punishing me, I decided if I couldn’t escape my parents house physically, then I would escape it mentally.
This led me to start using drugs of any sort. I started drinking cough medicine and smoking weed. Fast forward a few months, I started chemistry and synthesized multiple plant-derived psychedelics in my room. This led me to overdose and panic and have a second psych ward trip. After the church hears of this, they expelled me from the congregation. (They also expelled multiple people for being gay and all sorts of other lovely things)
Long term, I’m now almost 21 and I’m not gonna lie I have a substance problem. I think there’s some very deep emotional scarring I’ll never be able to completely deal with. I’m trying to stop my substance abuse issue and turn my life around for the better, but after being so bright in high school I feel like a retard now from all of the oxys.
My goal now is to go to trade school and get certified in welding, hopefully make a pretty ok life for myself. I wanted to go to college, but I have a few drug charges on my record, so I’ve pretty much abandoned hope of an easy future. I know I’ve f*cked up my life a lot, I’ll be honest it’s hard.
I think about suicide often, but I want to give life one last clean try for I abandon all hope. If it doesn’t work out and I wind up homeless, I do plan to kill myself. I’d rather be dead than homeless.”
4. Growing up Mormon.
“Grew up hardcore Mormon. I’d like to stress that my childhood isnt as common for other Mormon kids.
Most of the time Mormons are fairly understanding and loving to their kids. BUT, the mormon culture does promote the mentality my parents had.
When I was growing up I wasnt punished like some others here. I was spanked, and experienced the belt but that isnt why I have some psychological problems now. The real punishment was shame. From the earliest age I can remember (around six) I was told that I was lazy and I was pissing my life away (This was the strongest language my father would use).
When I first heard the word s*x, around eleven, I looked it up on the family computer. I was a pervert from then on, and had to talk to the bishop every month for a checkup. Hell, in every school I went to my parents told school counselors that I wasnt allowed on computers because I might look up pictures of naked women. (I never did this)
This is just the sparknotes version but I internalized the shame. Being so young I just accepted that I was what my father called me and hated myself for it. I was a lazy faliure at six, I was a pervert at eleven. It didnt stop me from doing any of the things I was doing before, I just learned to fear my fathers footsteps as if it was the devil himself walking down the hallway.
I lived my life in the brief intervals between punishments. I am still not beyond this at 24 years old.”
5. A bad situation.
“Oh, where to start?
Spankings that were borderline beatings for every offense. I wasn’t allowed to “talk back” at all. Asking “why?” Was talking back. I spent my entire childhood believing that all my problems were because I didn’t love god enough.
When I was 9, I was convinced that if I didn’t shape up, God was going to kill me. So I spent six months being a perfect angel but also living in constant terror. Just completely convinced that if I did one thing wrong, lightning would blow me off the planet.
Last thing I’ll mention is how my parents wouldn’t feed me as a child if I talked back. Many many nights I was sent home with no food for the most minor of infractions. (Finishing a chore a minute or two late)
They have largely turned things around. And even apologized for some of these actions. But I still have no interest in talking to them.”
6. Strict.
“Very religious parents, we have to abstain from eating onions, meat and garlic for nine days twice a year.
My parents always think that their religion is the best they sometimes criticize other religions.
The think homos*xuality is a sin.
My mother wants me to stop eating non-vegetarian food after I get married
I’m only allowed to eat Non- veg on Sunday, Friday and Saturday
My mother frowns when I tell her that I dont believe in god.
Yes, I’m Hindu.”
7. Still working on it.
“Was forced to attend a Christian cult for years. I told my parents every single time that I’m an atheist. Didn’t matter, had to go.
Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t study, they burned my books, couldn’t go out, so I was literally confined in my room with absolutely nothing. I had a bed and a wardrobe and clothes. No music, no drawing, no reading, no PC because only my little brother could use the computer.
I was studying programming in high school ffs. Had to hand-in my homework written on a paper instead of programmed in various languages.
Shamed me for being a woman. Shamed my body. Made me think I’m stupid. The “Pastor” kept saying how he sees god’s light on my face and how I’m clearly a devout Christian. I was thinking how to…uhm… evil stuff evil stuff… anyway not so nice thoughts about him during these conversations so yeah I don’t think he saw what was really in my mind.
Almost snapped. That would have ended in a sad, messy way. Thankfully I was banned, most likely because in the end I let my true thoughts show on my face. Claimed it was because they saw me walking with a boy or some other bullsh*t. I think they realised I’m not a sheep like the rest but a bloody angry wolf. Don’t try to indoctrinate the psychopath.
I left my family, moved a few thousand kilometers away, I have a great job, a great husband (he knows all my past), travelling constantly with my BOOKS. Yeah I love my books. Noone will ever take them again. I’m planning on building my own tiny library with a mahogany desk and heavy drapery on the windows.
Also I learnt I’m not stupid (quite the opposite) and I’m not that ashamed if my body anymore. My brain still have some trauma to work through. But I might even be a completely normal human in time!”
8. Homeschooled.
“I wasn’t in a true cult but I was homeschooled for religious reasons.
Mom replaced the word “millions” with “thousands” in our history/science books. Words like “liberal” and “democrat” and “secular” and “muslim” were insults, deserving mockery and shame. Went to church 3-4 times a week, mission trips every year.
Didn’t do Halloween (but always had “fall festivals”) or Easter Bunny or Santa. We weren’t allowed to say “holy cow” or “holy smokes” because only God is holy. Couldn’t watch Disney movies because of the “follow your heart” messaging, since the human heart is evil, it’s God’s heart we should follow (and also cuz Eisner supported equal rights).
No Pokemon because of “evolution” and a Satanic Panic fear that they were based on Japanese demons.
I’m 30 now and ashamed of the person I was, but I try not to be too hard on myself… It wasn’t all my fault. I was a Bible thumping Republican until late in college, and even though I’m an entirely different person, I still encounter chunks of bullsh*t in my psyche that I try to pluck out.
Therapy and reading and introspection and travel and empathy will do a lot! But we’re all on a journey…”
9. Demonic!
“All non-Christian gospel music was considered demonic. All fantasy was demonic.
I couldn’t watch how to train your dragon because it might as well be how to train your demon. Any time I acted up, it was because of the demons either influencing me or in me.
Church every day gets a little old after a while too.”
10. Irritating.
“My mom is a devout mormon. I was forced to pretend to believe in their church for 18 years.
I moved out a few months ago, she knows I don’t attend but she doesn’t know how far away I have distanced myself from that church.
She still calls me every week saying she’s trying to find out who my bishop is so they can send people to bring me to church with them. It’s like leading a double life but she’s micromanaging my religious beliefs from 4 hours away.
I love my mom but Jesus Christ does the Mormon lifestyle irritate me.”
11. Satanic Panic.
“It was Hell, and now I’m an athiest. We were raised in the Satanic Panic era in a Full Gospel Pentacostal church where people spoke in tongues, slithered on the floor like a snake, and fainted ( I guess thats what you call it).
We were only allowed stay overnight with friends whos family were from the same church. Only permitted to watch Rated G and PG movies. Not allowed to watch The Smurfs because they were satanic. We and other members of the church would stand on the side of the road in town and preach over a sound system to the teenagers cruising on Friday and Saturday nights.
We were forced to go to church every Wednesday night and morning and evening service on Sunday. Our stepdad was a deacon and later was “called to preach”. He beat the hell out of us on a regular basis and molested my sister. Beatings were so bad we were told no to dress out at PE in school because he didnt want anyone to see the bruises.
We were basically his slaves. We were forced to work our entire childhood. If we were caught with Rock and Roll music, it was burned. He later left my mom for another deacon’s wife which is why im not in prison because I had future plans to kill him once i got older.
There were four of us kids, one has since commited suicide, one is a crack head, my sister and her husband are very wealthy and i am a police officer. Hitler is still alive but he is paying for all of the abuse he put us through.”
12. Looks good from the outside.
“Having religious extremist parents is having a family that looks good from the outside, but is completely broken on the inside.
Having religious extremist parents is having your mother “obey” your father because that’s the only advice their pastor gave for marriage counseling. Having religious extremist parents is being told from an early age that all you’re going to do as a woman is graduate high school, get married, have a bunch of children for god and obey your husband.
Having religious extremist parents is being pulled out of school so they can “instill the proper values and beliefs”. Having religious extremist parents is being gaslit CONSTANTLY. Brain washed CONSTANTLY. Not being allowed your own views.
Having religious extremist parents is being told to not be “vain” so you spend every minute telling yourself not to feel pretty, not to feel confident, not to feel proud of yourself for your accomplishments. Having religious parents is using the bible verse “obey your elders” against your younger sister to play what you wanted to play, and realizing how much you hurt her all those years because of some stupid bible verse taken out of context (just to clarify, our relationship is the strongest out of my family).
Having religious extremist parents is being lectured for hours that “you aren’t helping your mother out around the house enough” while neglecting our education.
Having religious extremist parents is spending hours in a church service where the preacher tells you how you can’t be like the rest of the world, that the rest of the world is wrong, that other theologies are wrong, and woe is the church for having so many young people leave christianity, and don’t ever be like them.
Having religious extremist parents is realizing years later that you gave money EVERY GODD*MN WEEK to some grown man that could’ve gotten a real job to pay his bills, because if you weren’t tithing, you weren’t “christian enough”.
Having religious extremist parents is having a father who thinks the world is awful, and a mother who is so disillusioned that she can only see the rosy world in her head.
Having religious extremist parents is watching your family fall apart when you grow up. Having religious extremist parents is watching the abuse between your parents, but knowing they’ll never divorce because “it’s not god’s will”, and “divorce is wrong”.
Having religious extremist parents is knowing that there are some things, some beliefs that they will never accept you for. Having religious extremist parents is finding yourself much later in life that you should’ve.
It’s growing up and realizing the isolation, the trauma, the depression, and the brokenness in your own family and wondering why you never realized it before.”
How about you?
Were you raised in an overly religious household? Maybe even bordering on extremism?
If so, please tell us about it in the comments.
